King of Nothing

I’m not much for fast food now-a-days. I don’t eat remarkably healthy, but I also try to steer clear of fast food establishments as often as I can. I’m no health nut by any stretch of the imagination, but I usually feel terrible after I eat at one of the big 3 (McDonalds, Burger King, & Wendy’s). Wendy’s I consider to be the lesser of 3 evils. Something about the place juts seems a little more legit than it’s counter parts. McDonalds I consider to be fairly harmless, as I grew up eating that garbage and it hasn’t killed me yet. Burger King and I however, have a sorted past. What am I getting at here? Oh you’ll see…

Put on your ranting hats ladies and gentleman. Burger King is fixing to get a sound thrashing.

I despise Burger King. For some reason I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt and about once a year I decide to give them another shot and every time I’m reminded why I hate them so much. They have some pretty funny commercials and in my humble opinion some damn good burger ideas. But while these burgers look delicious on paper and on TV, as soon as you unwrap one of these flame broiled disasters, you’re in for a nasty surprise. Just ONCE I’d like to have a sandwich from Burger Kind without having to reconstruct it piece by piece before I pick it up. BK is by far and large the sloppiest fast food I’ve ever eaten. I spend the first few seconds of every meal picking rotten veggies off my sandwich. Every burger I’ve had at BK contains the same basic ingredients: the lettuce brain stem, the butt end of the tomato, and an onion core. Thanks BK; those aren’t veggies, that’s compost. Nothing like ending the week on a bitter note.

Now I want a burger...

Here’s an example of the ad verses the real deal: