Thanksgiving Pregame Action

Welcome to the first annual Food Fight Thanksgiving pregame show! Since I will not be posting for the next 4 days, I felt I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t leave you all with a Thanksgiving themed entry. I hitch a ride to my parent’s house at about 1pm EST and then do nothing but eat and drink until I return to the city sometime late Sunday night. It’s a holiday of excess and I plan to celebrate it the way it was meant to be!

What’s my plan? First off, I plan on getting in everyone’s way for a good hour, or so taking pictures for this stupid blog. After that, I’ll probably sit down in front of the TV and drink for somewhere in the realm of 6 hours or until my mom wakes me up to eat. I’m the oldest of the children in my family, which puts me in a weird position. I’m too old to talk about being a college freshman, but too young to talk about having kids and home ownership.

I usually just sit in front of the TV and take a nap. I’m often sitting adjacent to my dad who is in the same boat that I am. The only difference is that his age isn’t the factor; it’s the fact that he simply doesn’t have anything in common with my mom’s side of the family. My mom’s family is loud and obnoxious (like my mom and I), and my dad is soft spoken and enjoys being alone. A match made in heaven, I know. So he and I slowly melt into the living room furniture whilst drifting in and out of conscientiousness until someone herds us into the dining room for dinner.

At which point I gorge myself on mashed potatoes and green bean casserole until I shouldn’t be legally allowed to operate heavy machinery. But I’ll save the details on the meal itself for return.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Will it Blend?!

Alright, I realize this is a video about a blender, but it’s still pretty sweet. Will it Blend is an ad campaign focused on illustrating the raw power of the Blendtec blender. If you ask me… mission accomplished.

While it is kind of cool to see how easily this blender can blend an avocado, I’d much rather watch it reduce an iPhone to a pile of dust. Throughout this campaign, there have been a number of videos demonstrating how this blender can blend damn near anything including ipods, marbles, glow sticks, and even diamonds.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I’ve wanted to make a golf ball and strawberry smoothie, only to find that my stupid blender can’t get the job done. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. It's good to know that someone at Blendtec has my needs in mind. Check out the video below and the Blendtec blender itself. Pretty cools stuff.

Hey Starbucks, Here's a Tip!

I've noticed a disturbing trend at Starbucks lately. Every morning I buy my morning coffee at the same Starbucks like clockwork. Every morning I get the same thing, I pay for my coffee, place all of change in the tip cup, and then... nothing. What? No thank you?!

It's no secret that Starbuck charges $2.10 for a cup of coffee so that you'll have change with which to tip your server. Not only that, but they make sure the change is primarily in dimes and nickels so that you don’t feel compelled to pocket it for laundry. Personally, I tip my local Barista 90 some-odd cents every morning and for what? Turning around and lifting a little spout to fill my cup. That's almost a 50% tip for doing NOTHING! And it's a handful of change so I know they hear me dumping it in there.

I used to work for soulless ice cream corperation when I was high school and I lived off the tips. People were very generous and sometimes those tips were the only thing that got me through the day. I was grateful for the little I received from each customer and I ALWAYS said THANK YOU!

Not only do these Starbucks employees not say thank you, but they usually don't even acknowledge that I've done them a service! Nod, smile, burp, I don’t care! Just do something! Next time I order my coffee, I’m going to take my handful of change, and spike it on the ground in front of them. If you want my gratuity, you can get down on your hands and knees and pick up each cent. Have you ever tried to pick up a dime off a concrete floor? It’s almost impossible.

If it weren’t for my unhealthy caffeine addiction, I might stop going to Starbucks all together… Who am I kidding, I'd still go every morning if they spit in my face and told me I was ugly.

Coffee is a hell of a drug.

If you enjoyed this rant then you might also like: King of Nothing, The Candy Rant Can, & This One's for my Peeps.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 7

Welcome to Week 7 of my Boston Burger Quest! Week 7? I’ve eaten a burger a week for 7 straight weeks? No wonder my dress pants don’t fit. Where did I decide to dine this week you ask? I chose to take the road less traveled and went to a place that isn’t known for having the greatest food. They are however known for having the cheapest food. That’s kind of good, right? This week I took a trip to one of my all time favorite dive bars in Boston: The Pour House.

Located on Boylston St in Back Bay, the Pour House is located almost exactly across the street from my office. On days where I cannot muster the strength to go to the gym on my lunch break, I usually end up at the Pour House for a nice cheap lunch. The Pour House offers cheap food, cheap beer, a usually cool wait staff, and Big Buck Hunter. What’s not to like?

It has been my experience that most ladies don’t appreciate the majesty that is the Pour House, which is understandable. In my opinion there are few bars that are as well suited for a guy’s night out. If you plan on going to the Pour House you will no doubt end up spending quality time with your guy buddies for two reasons: Because your girlfriend will most likely refuse to join you and because there are seldom any other girls there for you to talk to. This fine Friday afternoon, I ventured out in the blistering cold with my pals B. Hill and Scott.

Could this burger be my ticket to burger nirvana?…Alright, who am I kidding? I knew full well this burger wouldn’t be great; I just really wanted to go the Pour House.

So how was it? When biting into a Pour House burger you will immediately notice the lack of that char broiled taste you get with most burgers. Why is that? It’s because their burgers are most likely cooked in a skillet or a microwave. Either wouldn’t really surprise me.

Personally, I am reminded of the hamburgers that I used to eat back in my high school cafeteria. While that is by no means a sign of quality, it does take me back and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. The bun is a standard no frills hamburger roll that was most likely purchased at Shaw’s, the meat is somewhat chewy and never quite as hot as you’d like it, and the veggies are fine, just fine.

As much as I personally enjoy these burgers for reasons beyond even my understanding, I would place the quality of a Pour House burger somewhere far below that of a gourmet burger and slightly higher than that of fast food. I also feel I should point out that this burger was only 5 dollars, so you can't really expect a masterpiece.

On the Jon Defreest scale of Overwhelming Deliciosity, I give the Pour House Burger a heart wrenching 4 out of 10. Sorry Pour House, it’s nothing personal and I hope we can still be friends.

Even in light of my not so flattering review, I still encourage you all to go to the Pour House whenever possible. Even though it's not the best burger you'll have in your life, it's still an experience worth trying. I highly recommend the Hawaiian burger (with pineapple and Teriyaki sauce).

If you liked this burger review than you may also enjoy: The Great Burger Quest Week 6, The Great Burger Quest Week 5, and The Great Burger Quest Week 4.

You with the Crown! You Dropped Your Wallet!

I’ll admit, I'm a sucker for good viral marketing. I spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet; I have to deal with a large amount of advertising, which is fine. I enjoy some ad campaigns, while others make me want to chew on the business end of a shotgun. Every once in a while though, someone comes up with a campaign that I actually enjoy, not simply tolerate. As much as I hate to admit it, Burger King has been pumping out some impressive ads in the recent year.

If you want to know my stance on Burger King you can do so here. I’m not a huge fan of this establishment. I try to steer clear of fast food in general and when I do occasionally succumb to my urges, I’m a Wendy’s man. But like it or not, BK is in the midst of a stellar campaign.

I love the blank smile on the face of the new “King”. I enjoyed watching him get hit by a car and attacked by the police. He’s entertaining and he’s iconic. It’s just great branding. But BK has now taken to viral marketing… and in my opinion, they’re doing a great job.

The news has already picked up on the story and people from all over the country are sending in their stories. Imagine walking down the street and you see a wallet, of course you pick it up. Perhaps you want to find out who it belongs to so you may return it. Perhaps you pocket it and continue about your business. Either way, once you open the wallet this is what you find:

That’s right. The King has lost his wallet. Not only that, but he encourages you to keep it. The wallet contains The King's drivers license, BK coupons, a map to local Burger Kings, and cash ranging anywhere from $1 - $100. If you ask me, it’s brilliant. As much as I dislike Burger King, I can’t help but admire their creativity.

Reddy, Set, Birthday!

The above title is not a typo. You’ll understand once you read the next line. Last night I attended the annual birthday dinner of my good friend and roommate Chris Reddy. As of yesterday, Chris is 28 years young. Being of Italian descent, Chris also has quite the affinity for Italian food. He even knows how to pronounce words from menus that I simply grunt and point to. Here is a picture of Chris sporting some very modern facial hair.

As for dinner, we dined at Lucia in Boston’s fabled North End, which may very well be my favorite restaurant in Boston. I’ve loved Lucia ever since I first visited there last year. This was only my second visit, but this time was even better than the first. The atmosphere is intimate, the wait staff is friendly, and the food is beyond description. Though I’ve only eaten there twice, I have had the pleasure of sampling many of the restaurant's most popular dishes.

This particular evening I had a Saltimbocca Lucia, which was a veal scaloppini topped with prosciutto, mozzarella, and mushrooms sautéed in a white wine sauce. I don’t know where to begin attempting to describe this meal.

At the risk of sounding inarticulate, this dish was really, really, really… good. Now I know a lot of people have a problem with veal. I for one, take no moral stance either way. All I know is that I find veal to be delicious. If you wish to register a formal complaint, please feel free to send your emails to pointlesswhining@noonecares.com.

I have more pictures from this illustrious evening, but sadly my laptop is a bit under the weather and thus my photos are all stranded there. I’m fairly confident that I took a picture of almost every meal at the table. Once I get it fixed I’ll be sure to include some more photos.

On a unrealted note. Someone sent me a link to Lighting Trends, which is a blog about uh... lighting trends. Anyway, they did a post on food inspired lighting and I thought some of them were pretty cool. Check it out.

Happy Birthday, Stupid.

International Food Fight!

I stumbled upon this video a while ago and I'm a little ashamed to admit that I didn't really get it at first. There's a lot more going on than you think. Pay particularly close attention to the types of food and what they're doing.

What Cookies?

Just when you think the Japanese have run out of clever ways to make you hate food, they come up with an idea like this. Take a good look at the image below. Why do those chocolate chips look like they have wings? Chocolate chips don’t hav… Oh dear God…

It makes you wonder what kind of thought process led to such a creation. People love wasp’s right? How can you not?! I know I personally let them just fly around my apartment just for laughs. Not only do they make great pets, but they are also delicious! People love wasps and people love cookies; so why not combine the two! Brilliant!

If there was a just and loving God, then he wouldn’t allow this kind of stuff to go down. I have an urgent message for the creators of these cookies, as well as any other company that feels it necessary to include insects in their baked goods.

I never understood how anybody could enjoy eating bugs. You can't even turn on the Discovery Channel anymore without hearing how insects are considered delicacies in other parts of the world. Are they? Really? They have no meat! They're crunchy little exoskeletons filled with guts. No one eats guts! Okay, some people eat guts, but no one should. Also, don’t most bugs contain some sort of venom? That can’t taste great.

In conclusion, bugs are not food.

Boston's Best "Blank"

I’m very pressed for time today, so I’m going to take a different approach to today’s post. Most of you are probably well aware that I am in the 6th week of my Boston Burger Quest. That being said, I’m thinking of wrapping this project up on the 10th week. 10 burger reviews seems like a good place to wrap up. Don’t be sad though. I plan on undertaking a new project! I’m thinking that my Boston “Blank” Quests will continue on for the life of this blog. I have a few ideas for what my next quest should be. But I was wondering what you guys think? What would you rather see me review next? My ideas are as follows…

• Best Pizza in Boston


• Best Bar Food in Boston


• Best Burrito in Boston

What do you guys think? Leave me some comments and vote above to help give me an idea.

This Beer will Drive you Bananas!

I’m man enough to admit that I have an affinity for fruity drinks. There I said it. I also drink Scotch on a regular basis, so back off! Most men scoff at the thought of fruit flavored beers, but I personally enjoy most of them. I especially enjoy black and blues, which is half Guinness and half blueberry beer. When I see a weird beer at the liquor store, I like to give it a fair shot. The other night I saw a beer that I had never before seen in my life. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Wells Banana Bread Beer!

I can hear some of you groaning already, so hear me out. I brought it up to the counter and asked the shop keep if it was any good and he replied with an emphatic “YES”. He also recommended that I mix it with Brooklyn Chocolate Lager. I took his advice and purchase a single bottle of the choco lager.

I did as I was instructed and mixed the two beers, the same way you would a black and tan (using a spoon). There was a problem though… the consistency of the choco lager was much heavier than that of a Guinness. Rather than float wonderfully at the top of the glass, leaving the two beers perfectly separated, the result was a completely muddled mixture of the two. It was a black and black. Upon tasting the concoction, I immediately noticed that the Brooklyn Chocolate completely overpowered the banana beer. Luckily though, I still had half a bottle of banana beer left. I decided to drink it straight and it was delicious! I was shocked!

Yes, it tasted like bananas. Yes, it tasted like beer. No, it tasted nothing like banana bread. Yes, it was delicious. I think if I had used Young’s Chocolate Stout in lieu of the Brooklyn Lager, the chocolate banana would have turned out much better. Rest assured, I will be attempting this experiment again.

In other news, I encourage you all to check out the Hoosier Burger Boy. It’s a burger blog written by a fancy gentleman by the name of Scott. His blog hosts burger reviews from all over the country. I couldn’t help but notice that Boston was not represented on his list, so he was kind enough to add me to his blog roll. It’s nice to see what’s going on in the burger world outside of Boston. I strongly suggest you check it out.

When I’m With You, Every Day Feels Like Double Soup Tuesday

Yesterday was Boston’s famed Soupfest in the Newbury Arcade of the Prudential Mall. Soupfest is an annual event, where local eateries set up stations where you can taste test samples of their soup. Even though I’ve worked in this building for over 2 years, this was my first time attending. It was nothing short of magical. There were so many soups to test, most of which were my favorite varieties.

I think that it is safe to say that I consumed roughly a quart of clam chowder. I also can now safely say that Boston Chowda House has a clam chowder that is vastly superior to Legal Seafood’s. I have tried to compare the two in the past unsuccessfully, but once I had them back to back there was no contest.

Many stations also featured Mexican tortilla soups, which is my absolute favorite. I especially love when soups have tortilla strips on top. Sometimes when I’m at home, I have a bowl of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken Fajita Soup and mix it with crushed Tostitos. In fact I think I just decided what I’m having for dinner tonight.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 6

Good morning everyone. After an accidental hiatus last week, I’m back with another review for my still far from famous Boston Burger Quest. I ended up at Flash’s in Back Bay with a large group of friends from my hometown of Littleton, Ma. Littleton is a small farm town known for its many banks and a large hill that people falsely claim you can see Boston from.

I had never heard of Flash’s before yesterday. I have heard nothing good or bad about its food. Apparently, this establishment is known for its cocktail selection. Since I was going there anyway and they just so happen to have a burger on the menu I figured, why not give Flash’s a chance at burger blog greatness? Could this be the sleeper come from behind victory that dreams are made of? Could this lowly bar bring hope back and snap me out of my burger funk? Am I getting out of control with all these questions?! Let’s see…

I met a large group of friends at Flash’s, including Tina of Carrots N Cake fame. We thought it would be fun to take pictures of each other taking pictures of each other for our respective blogs. Aren’t we just the cutest things?

Enough screwing around, on to the burger! Upon first inspection the bun looked quite tasty. If you’ve paid attention to my other reviews, than you know a good bun scores major points with me. Crunchy on the outside, warm on the inside. The vegetables were fresh and in the perfect quantity, I didn’t have to discard anything. After I took the first bite however, I noticed something was distinctly missing… but what was it?

It was missing that feeling of disappointment that I had felt with the last 3 burgers. All overly dramatic nonsense aside, this burger was AWESOME. Everything about it was great. The bun was perfect, the veggies we fresh, the meat was delicious, the fries were perfectly seasoned, and it was almost the perfect burger. That’s right, almost.

While I truly loved this burger, I don’t feel I can give it a perfect score. I can however, give it the highest score I have given any burger in the great city to date. On the Jon Defreest scale of renewed passion and overwhelming deliciosity, I give the Flash’s Burger an unprecedented 9 out of 10!

This burger was so great I feel compelled to give the address of the bar so that others may enjoy their burger as much as I did. 310 Stuart Street Boston, MA 02116.

I'm also going to start ending every post with a polaroid from now on. Enjoy.

Clever Title Not Found

First of all, I’d like to apologize to everyone for not having a burger quest last week. I simply did not have the time or money to dine out. Maybe I’ll make up for it this week by reviewing two burgers in one week! Perhaps I will… but I almost certainly won’t. I am, however, going to Flash tonight in Back Bay to give their burger the old college try. I haven’t heard anything good or bad about this place. To be honest with you all, I’m going there to catch up with some friends and it just so happens that their menu has a burger on it. What a coincidence! Either way, it should make for an interesting review.

Moving along, my stupid camera is giving me problems AGAIN, so I can’t upload any of my images from this weekend. But I promise I’ll get them up later this week.

In other news, this blog is making me fat. Since I started writing back in July, I have been slowly gaining weight and working out less. I can attribute this to both my burger search as well as my inherent laziness. At any rate, I refuse to alter my eating habits, so I’m just going to start running and working out more regularly. If I started eating oatmeal and skinless chicken breast all day I’d have to kick my own ass.

The wheels are kind of falling off this post aren’t they?

I know what I can talk about! I can’t believe I forgot about this! Last Friday, I participated in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Challenge with 3 of my friends. The TMNT Challenge is fairly simple. You must finish a large pizza and 2 liter bottle of soda in the time it takes to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 and 2. That’s roughly 3 ½ hours.

Needless to say this was a HORRIBLE IDEA. I started seeing stars about 30 minutes in and I did not finish the challenge. I left one slice of pizza and about 1 liter of soda remaining. I did however, come in second place. The only one to complete the challenge was my lumbering ox of a buddy, Brendan (seen above) who polished off his entire pizza in about 10 minutes and finished his soda well before the second movie ended. I don’t really think it matters who won this little contest, because in the end I think it’s pretty safe to say that we are all losers.

King of Nothing

I’m not much for fast food now-a-days. I don’t eat remarkably healthy, but I also try to steer clear of fast food establishments as often as I can. I’m no health nut by any stretch of the imagination, but I usually feel terrible after I eat at one of the big 3 (McDonalds, Burger King, & Wendy’s). Wendy’s I consider to be the lesser of 3 evils. Something about the place juts seems a little more legit than it’s counter parts. McDonalds I consider to be fairly harmless, as I grew up eating that garbage and it hasn’t killed me yet. Burger King and I however, have a sorted past. What am I getting at here? Oh you’ll see…

Put on your ranting hats ladies and gentleman. Burger King is fixing to get a sound thrashing.

I despise Burger King. For some reason I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt and about once a year I decide to give them another shot and every time I’m reminded why I hate them so much. They have some pretty funny commercials and in my humble opinion some damn good burger ideas. But while these burgers look delicious on paper and on TV, as soon as you unwrap one of these flame broiled disasters, you’re in for a nasty surprise. Just ONCE I’d like to have a sandwich from Burger Kind without having to reconstruct it piece by piece before I pick it up. BK is by far and large the sloppiest fast food I’ve ever eaten. I spend the first few seconds of every meal picking rotten veggies off my sandwich. Every burger I’ve had at BK contains the same basic ingredients: the lettuce brain stem, the butt end of the tomato, and an onion core. Thanks BK; those aren’t veggies, that’s compost. Nothing like ending the week on a bitter note.

Now I want a burger...

Here’s an example of the ad verses the real deal:

Looking to Waste a Few Bucks?

If you’re anything like me then you wish you could shoot all of your food out of a gun. No? Really… just me? Fair enough.

The good people at FireBox.com apparently feel the same as I do and have thus created the condiment gun! This handy meal time revolver can be filled with either ketchup or mustard cartridges and is then fired onto your food in what can only be described as completely unnecessary.

The way I see it, using this gun can only have one of two outcomes:

1. “Thank you. You’ve successfully added condiments to my hotdog.”

2. “You've ruined my new blouse!”

Judging by the pictures, this thing seems to have some distance. I have a funny feeling that what it presents in comedic appeal, it lacks in accuracy. But who are we kidding? If you’re buying a toy gun to apply condiments, then you either have a great sense of humor or your head is full of candy. At any rate, if you’d like to purchase this little dealy, you can do so here.

Stop Lunch Thieves in Their Tracks!

If you have, or have ever had, an office job, then you are probably quite familiar with the issue I’m about to discuss. How many times have you brought in your lunch, left it in the break room fridge, only to have one of your co-workers pilfer your sandwich? It happens every day and the culprits are rarely brought to justice. We’ve tried to battle this dilemma in our own personal ways: labeling our lunches, sending strongly worded emails, poisoning our sandwiches, each with mixed results. Finally, someone has come up with a practical and easy approach to solving this problem once and for all: the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag!

Sadly, these bags are not yet available to purchase, but you can make your own easily at home. Simply print green splotches on the side of a regular Ziploc bag! It’s that simple. No one wants a moldy old sandwich. Thanks to this great new invention; you can now protect your lunch from sandwich thieves with the help of a simple magic marker.

I for one am glad I won’t have to dole out any more savage beat downs to people I see eating what appears to be my lunch. I’m still sorry about that mix up by the way, Brendan.

Happy Birthday Dinner!

I went home this past Sunday to celebrate the birth of my little sister, Mandy. My mom had prepared a meal of her choosing, which for some reason was little pasta hats. My sister is known for being quite a picky eater. Her favorite meals include macaroni and cheese, gnocchi and butter, and honestly I can’t think of a third thing. The child eats nothing. By nothing I mean I honestly can’t remember 5 things I have seen her eat and by child I mean 20-year-old.

Since my mom had to cook something for the grownups to eat as well, she made chicken parmesan and meatballs to go along with the hats. We were joined by my aunt and grandmother as well. My grandmother apparently drank enough to finally scream at me in front of the family about my tattoos. Frankly, I’m surprised it has taken this long.

After dinner, my mom rolled out a plethora of cakes for dessert: chocolate cake, vanilla cake, pumpkin pie, and a funfetti cake. If you are unfamiliar with funfetti then allow me to explain. Do you remember those cakes you had as a child that were white cake with little multi-colored bursts in the middle?

You know those cakes people generally stop receiving around their 6th birthday? My sister and I both insist that our mother make us a funfetti cake every year. Funfetti cake rules! One year (I believe it was my 19th or 20th birthday), my mother attempted to make my annual funfetti cake, but for some reason it collapsed upon itself in the oven. Being either pressed for time or incredibly lazy, she decided to simply frost the cake pile and serve it to me and my friends and family. I currently have that cake listed as the best birthday cake I have every received. It was reminiscent of a sweet, colorful, compost heap made of cake.

Give Me More Free Stuff!!!

Did you hear that America? I want free stuff!

Last week both Cookware.com and Bertolli sent me free products to review. What a coincidence that the skillet sent to me from Cookware.com can be used to cook the dinner sent to me by Bertolli! Talk about killing two birds with one Faberware Classic Stainless Steel Skillet. You see what I did there? It’s called product placement people, everyone’s doing it.

First off, I’ve had Bertolli frozen dinners before and I can already tell you that I love them. The two issues I have are the portion sizes and the price. They run almost $10 a bag depending on where you shop and if you cook the meal for two; neither person will be entirely satisfied. As far as taste is concerned, these meals are great. I made the Garlic Shrimp and Penne dinner on Saturday night and it was delicious. I suppose the serving sizes are good if you cook it for one and save the left over’s. But a dinner for two is kind of pushing it. If they go on sale at your local grocer however, I recommend picking up a few. They’re great last minute dinner ideas and you wouldn’t even know they were frozen dinners if no one told you.

As for the skillet, it certainly cooked my dinner. That’s all I have to say. It’s a skillet. As long as the bottom didn’t melt and the handle didn’t fall off I’d say it performed admirably.

Also, it was quite shiny.