Food Fight

Boil in Bag Omelets

2008-12-17T13:24:00.001-08:00

I saw this recipe on ESPN during a pregame show for one of the 400 stupid college football games I have to watch every weekend because my roommates are all super fans. You know the type. Screaming at the TV and rooting for anywhere between 5 and 25 different colleges, 99% of which they did not attend and have no affiliation with.

The pregame show presented various different ways to make breakfast during a early morning tailgate party. The recipe itself was for boil in bag omelets. I was intrigued by an alternative method for making omelets, mainly because I am God awful at making them for some reason. They always end up becoming “scrambles”, which is breakfast talk for “failure”.

Luckily I had all the ingredients necessary to make a quality omelet. I combined two eggs, mushrooms, peppers, onions, and bacon in a medium sized Ziploc bag. Drop the bag in a large pot of boiling water. Leave the bag in the water a little longer than you think you should. I removed mine prematurely and soon realized that the innards of my omelet were not cooked. I threw it into a new bag and put it back in the water for a few minutes and ta-dah! A perfectly shaped omelet!

While the omelet was shaped like a burrito and looked delicious, it lacked that taste you get from frying it up in a pan. It also took longer to boil an omelet than it would to cook one the traditional way. It was also a little watery. If you’re not the best omelet maker though, it may be worth the little extra time to insure it makes it to your plate in one piece.

Chocolate Banana Breakfast Smoothie

2008-12-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

How many times have you woken up starving for no particular reason? You don’t want to grab a muffin or some other doughy ball of fat and sugar because you’ll just be hungry again an hour later. You also don’t have time for a real breakfast full of proteins and other things of that nature. So you go to work hungry and run out the clock until you reach a time where it’s socially acceptable to eat your lunch.

Here’s a simple idea. Make a breakfast smoothie. They’re quick and easy to make, and if you stock up on whey protein ahead of time, you can make a protein packed breakfast that will keep you energized until lunch time.

Here’s an easy recipe:

- 2 Table Spoons Vanilla Yogurt
- 1 Cup Chocolate Milk
- 1 Banana
- 2 Table Spoons Chocolate Whey Protein (optional)
- 1 Cup Crushed Ice

Just mix all the ingredients in a blender and you’re good to go. If you have a travel container then you can take the shake with you and save some for later. Smoothies are great because if you stock up on a few key ingredients like yogurt, milk, and fruit, you can make pretty much any combo you like.

Make it happen.

Become a Food Fight Follower!

2008-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. You may or may not have noticed the section devoted to "followers" of this blog in the lower left hand column. I strongly urge you all to become a follower of my blog! Why? Because it makes it look like I have an audience!

Not only that, but it's cool for me to see who's checking my writings on a regular basis. You even get to inculde an image of yourself, so all your friends can see what great taste you have in blogs! You can become a follower by clicking the followers section itself or if thats too much work you can do it here.

If you won't do it for me... do it for this baby seal.

BBQ Chicken Pizza Recipe

2008-12-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

I could lie and blame my current financial situation on our failing economy, but the fact of the matter is I was broke long before the current recession. I’m terrible with money and I usually spend it before I make it. I also tend to live far outside my means in terms of expensive dinners, booze, and electronics are concerned.

With the new year less than a month away, I‘ve decided to make some strides to get myself out of debt and learn to better manage my money.That means less dining out and more dining in. For the past couple of weeks I have been cooking at home a lot more than I have in the past. Not only that, but I’ve been cooking on a budget. Lots of inexpensive seafood, chili’s, soups, & homemade pizzas.

Here’s a cheap and easy recipe for BBQ Chicken Pizza:

Here’s what you’ll need:

-1 (12 inch) pre-baked pizza crust
-1/2 cup barbecue sauce
-1/2 cup diced grilled chicken
-1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper
-1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper
-1/4 cup chopped red onion
-1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
-1 pizza pan

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Place the pizza crust on a pizza pan or cookie sheet. Spread with BBQ sauce and chicken. Sprinkle evenly with red pepper, green pepper and onion and cover with cheese. Bake the pizza for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the cheese is melted.

Please Don't Try This at Home

2008-12-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

Before I begin, if you enjoy my ramblings on this blog than you may also like my new blog: Strongly Worded, where I write angry letters to things that I feel have wronged me in some form or another. Please check it out!

On to business! As most of you know, I have dedicated several posts on this blog to bacon related studies and the bacon arts. Bacon cinnamon buns, bacon cookies, chocolate covered bacon, and so on. I honestly never thought the day would come when I see someone do something bacon to the point where I thought myself, “I don't think this is safe”.

I discovered the following images at Holytaco.com. I'm going to warn you, this isn't for the faint of heart.

Who doesn't like a little arts and crafts when they cook? Weaving bacon together looks like about as fun as it does delicious. Next fry the bacon up in a frying pan, but make sure you don't pause to think about what you are doing or may me not be able to continue.

As if a that bacon tapestry didn't look bad enough for you.

Whoever thought of this concept is either a certified genius or an authentic nut job.

Is it a burrito? A pork roll? Or just an abomination of nature? For the love of God, please don't try this at home.

Calamari Pasta Recipe

2008-12-11T08:22:00.000-08:00

Today I’d like to share a recipe I made last night with nothing but leftovers from my fridge. Sounds kind of boring doesn’t it? Well, the main ingredient was somewhat unique, if that makes you feel any better. In my opinion this ingredient is perfect to throw over pasta, which is exactly what I did. What was it? Was it chicken? Nope. Think smaller. Think… more legs.

That’s right, calamari! I have had an irrational love of calamari (Italian for squid) since I was a kid. My grandmother used to fry it up for the family on News Year Day. It’s great stuff and it’s remarkably cheap and easy to prepare.

The night before last I had made seafood stew with shrimp, scallops, and calamari. I had over shot the amount of calamari that I needed, and thus was left with about a ½ a pound of tentacles left over. The tentacles happen to be my favorite part. This is lucky for me, because at the fish market most people request the rings.

At any rate, here’s my recipe for calamari in a white wine sauce and angel hair pasta. Please forgive the crudeness of this recipe, but I basically just throw things in the pan as I see fit. I don’t really care for exact measurements.

Here’s what you’ll need:

- Roughly ½ lb of squid (tentacles, rings, or both)
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 tablespoons of butter
- 3 tablespoons minced garlic
- 3 green onions (chopped)
- A handful of left over kidney beans (red and white)
- A generous splash of white cooking wine
- A generous amount of angel hair pasta
- A frying pan to cook it all in

Boil two pots of water, one for the pasta and one for the squid. Throw the squid into the boiling water only for a few moments (until it curls up and turns purple). Then strain it and set it aside. If you add the uncooked squid to the wine sauce raw, it turns it a weird shade of purple. Cook the angel hair pasta in the other pot, drain, and set aside.

In a separate frying pan add the rest of the ingredients and simmer on low until hot. Next turn up the heat a little and add the cooked squid and stir for a few minutes.

Pour the squid and wine sauce over the pasta and you’re done! Not only is it easy and delicious, but it also freaks out your roommates when they see you eating it. No one in my house was willing to try it except for the dog and he seemed to enjoy it.

Moms Pumpkin Pie Recipe

2008-12-10T13:45:00.000-08:00

Today I would like to share with you one of my mom’s greatest recipes: her famous pumpkin pie. This is easily one of my top 3 favorite desserts that she makes. Every holiday season she rolls out a number of different pies, I am also an avid apple pie fan, but pumpkin is the winner in my book by a significant margin.

Here’s what you'll need:

-3/4 cup granulated sugar
-1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
-1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
-2 large eggs
-1 can (15 oz.) canned pumpkin
-1 can (12 fl. oz.) evaporated milk
-1 unbaked 9-inch (4-cup volume) deep-dish pie shell

-1 pie pan
-Whipped cream

-Vanilla Ice Cream

Mix sugar, cinnamon, salt, ginger and cloves in small bowl. Beat eggs in large bowl. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture. Gradually stir in evaporated milk. Next pour the mixture into the pie shell. Bake in a preheated 425° F oven for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350° F and then bake for another 40 to 50 minutes or until knife inserted near center comes out clean.

Let the pie cool for 2 hours and then refrigerate. Top with whipped cream before and vanilla ice cream.

Chili Con Crazy!

2008-12-09T13:29:00.000-08:00

If you frequent my blog then you may have noticed that I am on quite a chili kick as of late. Since I created my now famous ‘Nightmare Chorizo Chili’, I have been mixing and matching various ingredients and experimenting with different textures and flavors. Last night I attempted to make a chili with an ingredient that you don’t normally associate with chili: Shrimp.

I was a little scared at first. I was cooking for someone who doesn’t eat meat so my options were a strictly vegetarian chili or some sort of seafood chili. I had to abandon my go to ingredient, which is Chorizo sausage, for either fake ground beef or some type of seafood. Shrimp seemed like the only logical choice. Though next, I’d like to try crawfish.

Anyway, here’s the recipe. It’s insanely easy and pretty healthy by chili standards. All you need is a large sauce pan or crockpot and the following ingredients.

-¾ pound of shrimp tails removed (I used precooked to save time)
-1 can (16 ounces) diced tomatoes with jalapenos
-1 can (16 ounces) red kidney beans (drained and rinsed)
-1 cup tomato sauce
-4 green onions (chopped)
-3 cloves garlic (diced)
-1 ½ tablespoon chili powder
-¾ teaspoon ground cumin
-½ teaspoon garlic powder
-½ teaspoon salt
-¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
-¼ teaspoon dried oregano
-½ can light beer
-1 shot whiskey

Once you’ve prepared the ingredients just throw it all in a large crockpot and cook on medium heat until the chili begins to boil. Then reduce heat to low and simmer until the shrimp curl up. Top with shredded cheese, a dollop of sour cream, and crush tortilla chips.

Last Minute X-Mas Gift Ideas

2008-12-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

Since Christmas is fast approaching, I thought it might be a good idea to throw out some last minute gift ideas for the food enthusiast in your life. I stumbled upon this product on Flickr when I noticed an oddly named group known as “Mr. Bento Porn”. Bento boxes are great ways to transport your lunch to work or whatever. Especially if you’re fancy and your lunch consists of several different parts that you don’t want all mashed together. Technically, you could bring your breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the one container.

The people in the Mr. Bento Porn group however, have taken it to the extreme. They all send in photographs of their Bento’s creatively displaying their meals in such a way that can only be described as weirdly artistic. They’ve somehow managed to make packing your lunch into an art form. Don't ask me how. I personally would love to get one of these things for X-mas. Though I’d probably go nuts making complicated meals for about a week before I just started bringing my plain old sandwich and leaving the other compartments empty.

If you’re thinking of getting a Bento for someone this X-mas, you can get one at Cookware.com. Tell em’ Jon sent you.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 8

2008-12-05T10:29:00.001-08:00

It’s about that time again. It’s time for week 8 of my Boston Burger Quest. I took last week off because of Thanksgiving, but I’m back and ready for another burger. With only 3 weeks left, where did I decide to go this week? I dined at Charley’s Eating and Drinking Saloon.

I’ve been to Charley’s a handful of times, but I don’t believe I’ve ever had their burger. If I have, than I don’t remember it… which could very well be the case. Either way, I was joined by my friend Stupid Scott and his lovely girlfriend Rachel. After she took 30 minutes deciding what salad to order, Scott and I dug into our burgers.

I wasn’t impressed. The burger was remarkably average. The bun was a little too soft, the burger was slightly undercooked, and aside from the onion rings inside, it was fairly flavorless. After thinking about it for a good 6 seconds, I just finished eating it without taking anything else into account. I was very quickly bored with the whole thing. The fries were definitely better than most of the fries I’ve encountered over the past 7 weeks. It just would have been nice if they had given me more than six.

On the Jon Defreest Scale of Overwhelming Deliciosity I give the Charley’s burger a wonderfully mild 5 out of 10.

Don’t waste your money. Charley’s is a fine establishment, but the burger is boring and uninspired. I’d go there for a steak or a nice piece of fish, but no more burgers from Charley’s for me.

If you liked this burger review, then you may also like The Great Burger Quest Week 7, Week 6, and Week 5.

Holiday Gifts

2008-12-04T13:23:00.000-08:00

Looking for a gift for that warm beverage lover in your family? Do you not care enough about this person to spend more than 30 bucks on a X-Mas gift? Well, have I found the perfect gift for you!

This nifty little mug would be the perfect edition to anyone’s silly mug collection. Once this mug is filled with a beverage of your choosing, it displays a helpful message to inform the user of the approximate temperature of its contents. It has 3 messages: Hot, Cold, and Hot and Cold at the same time. I guess it was too hard to have the mug say “warm”.

When the contents of the mug are hot, the mug turns white and displays the word “hot”. When you beverage is cold, it turns black and displays the word “Cold”. Did everyone get, that's gonna get it? Good, we'll move.

The days of burning your tongue on a scalding mug of hot cocoa are a thing of the past! Simply look at the side of your mug and it will tell you everything that you need to know. How many times have you reached for you cup of morning coffee only to be shocked at how cold it has become. Never again! If you’re seriously interested this mug you can purchase it here.

If you want to purchase me this mug for X-mas simply email me and I’ll send you my address. I also except cash gifts and moderately to unreasonably high priced bottles of Scotch.

If you enjoyed this product then you may also enjoy this condiment gun or these pen cap utensils.

A Recipe... for Terror!

2008-12-03T07:43:00.000-08:00

I’m a bit tried this morning. I had a tough time sleeping last night and I had some pretty graphic nightmares. I won’t go into the gory details, but let’s just say it involved homicide and a sledgehammer. I have a wild imagination. I rarely dream and even more rarely do I have bad dreams or nightmares. After some thought, I think I can I know why my dreams were so dark: my famous chorizo chili.

Yesterday, I made chorizo chili. I’ll spare you the recipe for now, but it contains hot chorizo sausage, jalapenos, garlic, beer, whiskey, and garlic. Those are all the right ingredients for a good night sleep, right? Well… apparently not. I made chili for me and my 3 roommates and we all had weird dreams. Not everyone had nightmares, but all 4 of us had some form of a weird dreaming experience. I've spent the morning trolling Google looking for a scientific explanation for this phenomenon, with such luck. I’m going to have to assume that the dreams are a byproduct of the combination of booze and hot peppers.

What foods give you crazy dreams?

Moms Trifle Recipe

2008-12-02T10:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I briefly touched upon my Thanksgiving dinner. What I failed to discuss in detail was the dessert. I thought it would be fun to talk about one of my mom’s greatest recipes: Trifle. Trifle is a dessert my family enjoys roughly twice a year; once at Thanksgiving and then usually again on Christmas Eve. It’s relatively easy to make and is quite impressive looking. It’s a great crowd pleaser and one of my favorites.

All you need is a cake pan and a trifle bowl to serve it in. The trifle bowl is vital, because if you can’t see the layers, then it’s just a giant bowl of pudding.

-1 package yellow cake mix
-1 package instant chocolate pudding mix
-1 package instant vanilla pudding mix
-1 cup milk
-1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, room temperature
-1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
-3 bananas, sliced
-1 handful of strawberries, sliced
-3 Heath Bars, crushed

Prepare cake according to package directions and bake in a 9x13 inch pan. Let the cake cool completely. Cut half the cake into smaller pieces.

In 2 large bowls, create the two different pudding layers a keep them separate. In a large trifle bowl, layer 1/3 of the cake cubes, 1/3 of the chocolate pudding, 1/3 of the banana slices and 1/3 of the strawberries.

Repeat the process except this time use the vanilla pudding and top with more whipped cream and crushed Heath Bar pieces.

If you enjoyed this recipe then you may also enjoy Hawaiian Burgers and Beer Butt Chicken.

Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner

2008-12-01T06:39:00.001-08:00

Another Thanksgiving is in the books, as people all across America prepare for one of the longest work weeks of the year. As promised, I have documented my Thanksgiving day feast, so that I may share with all of you. Not only that, but all of my Thanksgiving predictions also came true. This year was pretty much the same as every other year and every bit as delicious.

I rolled in to my grandma’s house somewhere around 3 o’clock and just in time to see the bird come out of the oven. Once I took off my coat, I promptly made myself a drink and took a seat on the couch alongside my father.

My dad, attempting to read the paper and watch TV at the same time.

Next to me on an end table was a tray of crackers and some undisclosed pink dip that I was later informed was “Shrimp dip”. It tasted like cheese, shrimp, and cocktail sauce and had quite a wonderfully addictive quality. My aunt later scolded me for my failed attempt to identify said dip and declared, “We have this dip every year!” After a series of one on one interviews, I later confirmed with every member of my family that we had never seen this dip before in our lives.

As I drifted in and out of consciousness on my grandma’s couch, we flipped the channels between House and whatever football game was on at the time until it was time to eat. Below is a photo of my plate.

It's called sexy people, get used to it.

The dinner consisted entirely of Thanksgiving Day staples, save for a new dish that my grandmother had concocted. It was a simple dish comprised of broccoli, pearl onions, and bacon and it was quite a hit. I for one, helped myself to seconds and possibly even thirds.

Next was dessert. I was stuffed to the rafters, so I only had a single piece of pumpkin pie. Our dessert table offered pumpkin pie, apple pie, lemon meringue pie, trifle, and a new mystery dessert that my mom created which contained more rum than the average pirate.

All in all it was another great Thanksgiving that is finally out of the way, so we can get to the king of all holidays! But that rant is for another day.

If you liked this family post then you may also enjoy Corso Family Wine Making Day Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

Thanksgiving Pregame Action

2008-11-26T06:03:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the first annual Food Fight Thanksgiving pregame show! Since I will not be posting for the next 4 days, I felt I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t leave you all with a Thanksgiving themed entry. I hitch a ride to my parent’s house at about 1pm EST and then do nothing but eat and drink until I return to the city sometime late Sunday night. It’s a holiday of excess and I plan to celebrate it the way it was meant to be!

What’s my plan? First off, I plan on getting in everyone’s way for a good hour, or so taking pictures for this stupid blog. After that, I’ll probably sit down in front of the TV and drink for somewhere in the realm of 6 hours or until my mom wakes me up to eat. I’m the oldest of the children in my family, which puts me in a weird position. I’m too old to talk about being a college freshman, but too young to talk about having kids and home ownership.

I usually just sit in front of the TV and take a nap. I’m often sitting adjacent to my dad who is in the same boat that I am. The only difference is that his age isn’t the factor; it’s the fact that he simply doesn’t have anything in common with my mom’s side of the family. My mom’s family is loud and obnoxious (like my mom and I), and my dad is soft spoken and enjoys being alone. A match made in heaven, I know. So he and I slowly melt into the living room furniture whilst drifting in and out of conscientiousness until someone herds us into the dining room for dinner.

At which point I gorge myself on mashed potatoes and green bean casserole until I shouldn’t be legally allowed to operate heavy machinery. But I’ll save the details on the meal itself for return.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Will it Blend?!

2008-11-25T10:53:00.000-08:00

Alright, I realize this is a video about a blender, but it’s still pretty sweet. Will it Blend is an ad campaign focused on illustrating the raw power of the Blendtec blender. If you ask me… mission accomplished.

While it is kind of cool to see how easily this blender can blend an avocado, I’d much rather watch it reduce an iPhone to a pile of dust. Throughout this campaign, there have been a number of videos demonstrating how this blender can blend damn near anything including ipods, marbles, glow sticks, and even diamonds.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I’ve wanted to make a golf ball and strawberry smoothie, only to find that my stupid blender can’t get the job done. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. It's good to know that someone at Blendtec has my needs in mind. Check out the video below and the Blendtec blender itself. Pretty cools stuff.

Hey Starbucks, Here's a Tip!

2008-11-24T12:51:00.000-08:00

I've noticed a disturbing trend at Starbucks lately. Every morning I buy my morning coffee at the same Starbucks like clockwork. Every morning I get the same thing, I pay for my coffee, place all of change in the tip cup, and then... nothing. What? No thank you?!

It's no secret that Starbuck charges $2.10 for a cup of coffee so that you'll have change with which to tip your server. Not only that, but they make sure the change is primarily in dimes and nickels so that you don’t feel compelled to pocket it for laundry. Personally, I tip my local Barista 90 some-odd cents every morning and for what? Turning around and lifting a little spout to fill my cup. That's almost a 50% tip for doing NOTHING! And it's a handful of change so I know they hear me dumping it in there.

I used to work for soulless ice cream corperation when I was high school and I lived off the tips. People were very generous and sometimes those tips were the only thing that got me through the day. I was grateful for the little I received from each customer and I ALWAYS said THANK YOU!

Not only do these Starbucks employees not say thank you, but they usually don't even acknowledge that I've done them a service! Nod, smile, burp, I don’t care! Just do something! Next time I order my coffee, I’m going to take my handful of change, and spike it on the ground in front of them. If you want my gratuity, you can get down on your hands and knees and pick up each cent. Have you ever tried to pick up a dime off a concrete floor? It’s almost impossible.

If it weren’t for my unhealthy caffeine addiction, I might stop going to Starbucks all together… Who am I kidding, I'd still go every morning if they spit in my face and told me I was ugly.

Coffee is a hell of a drug.

If you enjoyed this rant then you might also like: King of Nothing, The Candy Rant Can, & This One's for my Peeps.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 7

2008-11-21T12:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Week 7 of my Boston Burger Quest! Week 7? I’ve eaten a burger a week for 7 straight weeks? No wonder my dress pants don’t fit. Where did I decide to dine this week you ask? I chose to take the road less traveled and went to a place that isn’t known for having the greatest food. They are however known for having the cheapest food. That’s kind of good, right? This week I took a trip to one of my all time favorite dive bars in Boston: The Pour House.

Located on Boylston St in Back Bay, the Pour House is located almost exactly across the street from my office. On days where I cannot muster the strength to go to the gym on my lunch break, I usually end up at the Pour House for a nice cheap lunch. The Pour House offers cheap food, cheap beer, a usually cool wait staff, and Big Buck Hunter. What’s not to like?

It has been my experience that most ladies don’t appreciate the majesty that is the Pour House, which is understandable. In my opinion there are few bars that are as well suited for a guy’s night out. If you plan on going to the Pour House you will no doubt end up spending quality time with your guy buddies for two reasons: Because your girlfriend will most likely refuse to join you and because there are seldom any other girls there for you to talk to. This fine Friday afternoon, I ventured out in the blistering cold with my pals B. Hill and Scott.

Could this burger be my ticket to burger nirvana?…Alright, who am I kidding? I knew full well this burger wouldn’t be great; I just really wanted to go the Pour House.

So how was it? When biting into a Pour House burger you will immediately notice the lack of that char broiled taste you get with most burgers. Why is that? It’s because their burgers are most likely cooked in a skillet or a microwave. Either wouldn’t really surprise me.

Personally, I am reminded of the hamburgers that I used to eat back in my high school cafeteria. While that is by no means a sign of quality, it does take me back and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. The bun is a standard no frills hamburger roll that was most likely purchased at Shaw’s, the meat is somewhat chewy and never quite as hot as you’d like it, and the veggies are fine, just fine.

As much as I personally enjoy these burgers for reasons beyond even my understanding, I would place the quality of a Pour House burger somewhere far below that of a gourmet burger and slightly higher than that of fast food. I also feel I should point out that this burger was only 5 dollars, so you can't really expect a masterpiece.

On the Jon Defreest scale of Overwhelming Deliciosity, I give the Pour House Burger a heart wrenching 4 out of 10. Sorry Pour House, it’s nothing personal and I hope we can still be friends.

Even in light of my not so flattering review, I still encourage you all to go to the Pour House whenever possible. Even though it's not the best burger you'll have in your life, it's still an experience worth trying. I highly recommend the Hawaiian burger (with pineapple and Teriyaki sauce).

If you liked this burger review than you may also enjoy: The Great Burger Quest Week 6, The Great Burger Quest Week 5, and The Great Burger Quest Week 4.

You with the Crown! You Dropped Your Wallet!

2008-11-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

I’ll admit, I'm a sucker for good viral marketing. I spend an unhealthy amount of time on the internet; I have to deal with a large amount of advertising, which is fine. I enjoy some ad campaigns, while others make me want to chew on the business end of a shotgun. Every once in a while though, someone comes up with a campaign that I actually enjoy, not simply tolerate. As much as I hate to admit it, Burger King has been pumping out some impressive ads in the recent year.

If you want to know my stance on Burger King you can do so here. I’m not a huge fan of this establishment. I try to steer clear of fast food in general and when I do occasionally succumb to my urges, I’m a Wendy’s man. But like it or not, BK is in the midst of a stellar campaign.

I love the blank smile on the face of the new “King”. I enjoyed watching him get hit by a car and attacked by the police. He’s entertaining and he’s iconic. It’s just great branding. But BK has now taken to viral marketing… and in my opinion, they’re doing a great job.

The news has already picked up on the story and people from all over the country are sending in their stories. Imagine walking down the street and you see a wallet, of course you pick it up. Perhaps you want to find out who it belongs to so you may return it. Perhaps you pocket it and continue about your business. Either way, once you open the wallet this is what you find:

That’s right. The King has lost his wallet. Not only that, but he encourages you to keep it. The wallet contains The King's drivers license, BK coupons, a map to local Burger Kings, and cash ranging anywhere from $1 - $100. If you ask me, it’s brilliant. As much as I dislike Burger King, I can’t help but admire their creativity.

Reddy, Set, Birthday!

2008-11-19T09:02:00.001-08:00

The above title is not a typo. You’ll understand once you read the next line. Last night I attended the annual birthday dinner of my good friend and roommate Chris Reddy. As of yesterday, Chris is 28 years young. Being of Italian descent, Chris also has quite the affinity for Italian food. He even knows how to pronounce words from menus that I simply grunt and point to. Here is a picture of Chris sporting some very modern facial hair.

As for dinner, we dined at Lucia in Boston’s fabled North End, which may very well be my favorite restaurant in Boston. I’ve loved Lucia ever since I first visited there last year. This was only my second visit, but this time was even better than the first. The atmosphere is intimate, the wait staff is friendly, and the food is beyond description. Though I’ve only eaten there twice, I have had the pleasure of sampling many of the restaurant's most popular dishes.

This particular evening I had a Saltimbocca Lucia, which was a veal scaloppini topped with prosciutto, mozzarella, and mushrooms sautéed in a white wine sauce. I don’t know where to begin attempting to describe this meal.

At the risk of sounding inarticulate, this dish was really, really, really… good. Now I know a lot of people have a problem with veal. I for one, take no moral stance either way. All I know is that I find veal to be delicious. If you wish to register a formal complaint, please feel free to send your emails to pointlesswhining@noonecares.com.

I have more pictures from this illustrious evening, but sadly my laptop is a bit under the weather and thus my photos are all stranded there. I’m fairly confident that I took a picture of almost every meal at the table. Once I get it fixed I’ll be sure to include some more photos.

On a unrealted note. Someone sent me a link to Lighting Trends, which is a blog about uh... lighting trends. Anyway, they did a post on food inspired lighting and I thought some of them were pretty cool. Check it out.

Happy Birthday, Stupid.

International Food Fight!

2008-11-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon this video a while ago and I'm a little ashamed to admit that I didn't really get it at first. There's a lot more going on than you think. Pay particularly close attention to the types of food and what they're doing.

What Cookies?

2008-11-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

Just when you think the Japanese have run out of clever ways to make you hate food, they come up with an idea like this. Take a good look at the image below. Why do those chocolate chips look like they have wings? Chocolate chips don’t hav… Oh dear God…

It makes you wonder what kind of thought process led to such a creation. People love wasp’s right? How can you not?! I know I personally let them just fly around my apartment just for laughs. Not only do they make great pets, but they are also delicious! People love wasps and people love cookies; so why not combine the two! Brilliant!

If there was a just and loving God, then he wouldn’t allow this kind of stuff to go down. I have an urgent message for the creators of these cookies, as well as any other company that feels it necessary to include insects in their baked goods.

I never understood how anybody could enjoy eating bugs. You can't even turn on the Discovery Channel anymore without hearing how insects are considered delicacies in other parts of the world. Are they? Really? They have no meat! They're crunchy little exoskeletons filled with guts. No one eats guts! Okay, some people eat guts, but no one should. Also, don’t most bugs contain some sort of venom? That can’t taste great.

In conclusion, bugs are not food.

Boston's Best "Blank"

2008-11-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

I’m very pressed for time today, so I’m going to take a different approach to today’s post. Most of you are probably well aware that I am in the 6th week of my Boston Burger Quest. That being said, I’m thinking of wrapping this project up on the 10th week. 10 burger reviews seems like a good place to wrap up. Don’t be sad though. I plan on undertaking a new project! I’m thinking that my Boston “Blank” Quests will continue on for the life of this blog. I have a few ideas for what my next quest should be. But I was wondering what you guys think? What would you rather see me review next? My ideas are as follows…

Best Pizza in Boston

Best Bar Food in Boston

Best Burrito in Boston

What do you guys think? Leave me some comments and vote above to help give me an idea.

This Beer will Drive you Bananas!

2008-11-13T13:19:00.001-08:00

I’m man enough to admit that I have an affinity for fruity drinks. There I said it. I also drink Scotch on a regular basis, so back off! Most men scoff at the thought of fruit flavored beers, but I personally enjoy most of them. I especially enjoy black and blues, which is half Guinness and half blueberry beer. When I see a weird beer at the liquor store, I like to give it a fair shot. The other night I saw a beer that I had never before seen in my life. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Wells Banana Bread Beer!

I can hear some of you groaning already, so hear me out. I brought it up to the counter and asked the shop keep if it was any good and he replied with an emphatic “YES”. He also recommended that I mix it with Brooklyn Chocolate Lager. I took his advice and purchase a single bottle of the choco lager.

I did as I was instructed and mixed the two beers, the same way you would a black and tan (using a spoon). There was a problem though… the consistency of the choco lager was much heavier than that of a Guinness. Rather than float wonderfully at the top of the glass, leaving the two beers perfectly separated, the result was a completely muddled mixture of the two. It was a black and black. Upon tasting the concoction, I immediately noticed that the Brooklyn Chocolate completely overpowered the banana beer. Luckily though, I still had half a bottle of banana beer left. I decided to drink it straight and it was delicious! I was shocked!

Yes, it tasted like bananas. Yes, it tasted like beer. No, it tasted nothing like banana bread. Yes, it was delicious. I think if I had used Young’s Chocolate Stout in lieu of the Brooklyn Lager, the chocolate banana would have turned out much better. Rest assured, I will be attempting this experiment again.

In other news, I encourage you all to check out the Hoosier Burger Boy. It’s a burger blog written by a fancy gentleman by the name of Scott. His blog hosts burger reviews from all over the country. I couldn’t help but notice that Boston was not represented on his list, so he was kind enough to add me to his blog roll. It’s nice to see what’s going on in the burger world outside of Boston. I strongly suggest you check it out.

When I’m With You, Every Day Feels Like Double Soup Tuesday

2008-11-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Boston’s famed Soupfest in the Newbury Arcade of the Prudential Mall. Soupfest is an annual event, where local eateries set up stations where you can taste test samples of their soup. Even though I’ve worked in this building for over 2 years, this was my first time attending. It was nothing short of magical. There were so many soups to test, most of which were my favorite varieties.

I think that it is safe to say that I consumed roughly a quart of clam chowder. I also can now safely say that Boston Chowda House has a clam chowder that is vastly superior to Legal Seafood’s. I have tried to compare the two in the past unsuccessfully, but once I had them back to back there was no contest.

Many stations also featured Mexican tortilla soups, which is my absolute favorite. I especially love when soups have tortilla strips on top. Sometimes when I’m at home, I have a bowl of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken Fajita Soup and mix it with crushed Tostitos. In fact I think I just decided what I’m having for dinner tonight.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 6

2008-11-11T07:15:00.001-08:00

Good morning everyone. After an accidental hiatus last week, I’m back with another review for my still far from famous Boston Burger Quest. I ended up at Flash’s in Back Bay with a large group of friends from my hometown of Littleton, Ma. Littleton is a small farm town known for its many banks and a large hill that people falsely claim you can see Boston from.

I had never heard of Flash’s before yesterday. I have heard nothing good or bad about its food. Apparently, this establishment is known for its cocktail selection. Since I was going there anyway and they just so happen to have a burger on the menu I figured, why not give Flash’s a chance at burger blog greatness? Could this be the sleeper come from behind victory that dreams are made of? Could this lowly bar bring hope back and snap me out of my burger funk? Am I getting out of control with all these questions?! Let’s see…

I met a large group of friends at Flash’s, including Tina of Carrots N Cake fame. We thought it would be fun to take pictures of each other taking pictures of each other for our respective blogs. Aren’t we just the cutest things?

Enough screwing around, on to the burger! Upon first inspection the bun looked quite tasty. If you’ve paid attention to my other reviews, than you know a good bun scores major points with me. Crunchy on the outside, warm on the inside. The vegetables were fresh and in the perfect quantity, I didn’t have to discard anything. After I took the first bite however, I noticed something was distinctly missing… but what was it?

It was missing that feeling of disappointment that I had felt with the last 3 burgers. All overly dramatic nonsense aside, this burger was AWESOME. Everything about it was great. The bun was perfect, the veggies we fresh, the meat was delicious, the fries were perfectly seasoned, and it was almost the perfect burger. That’s right, almost.

While I truly loved this burger, I don’t feel I can give it a perfect score. I can however, give it the highest score I have given any burger in the great city to date. On the Jon Defreest scale of renewed passion and overwhelming deliciosity, I give the Flash’s Burger an unprecedented 9 out of 10!

This burger was so great I feel compelled to give the address of the bar so that others may enjoy their burger as much as I did. 310 Stuart Street Boston, MA 02116.

I'm also going to start ending every post with a polaroid from now on. Enjoy.

Clever Title Not Found

2008-11-10T13:14:00.000-08:00

First of all, I’d like to apologize to everyone for not having a burger quest last week. I simply did not have the time or money to dine out. Maybe I’ll make up for it this week by reviewing two burgers in one week! Perhaps I will… but I almost certainly won’t. I am, however, going to Flash tonight in Back Bay to give their burger the old college try. I haven’t heard anything good or bad about this place. To be honest with you all, I’m going there to catch up with some friends and it just so happens that their menu has a burger on it. What a coincidence! Either way, it should make for an interesting review.

Moving along, my stupid camera is giving me problems AGAIN, so I can’t upload any of my images from this weekend. But I promise I’ll get them up later this week.

In other news, this blog is making me fat. Since I started writing back in July, I have been slowly gaining weight and working out less. I can attribute this to both my burger search as well as my inherent laziness. At any rate, I refuse to alter my eating habits, so I’m just going to start running and working out more regularly. If I started eating oatmeal and skinless chicken breast all day I’d have to kick my own ass.

The wheels are kind of falling off this post aren’t they?

I know what I can talk about! I can’t believe I forgot about this! Last Friday, I participated in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Challenge with 3 of my friends. The TMNT Challenge is fairly simple. You must finish a large pizza and 2 liter bottle of soda in the time it takes to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 and 2. That’s roughly 3 ½ hours.

Needless to say this was a HORRIBLE IDEA. I started seeing stars about 30 minutes in and I did not finish the challenge. I left one slice of pizza and about 1 liter of soda remaining. I did however, come in second place. The only one to complete the challenge was my lumbering ox of a buddy, Brendan (seen above) who polished off his entire pizza in about 10 minutes and finished his soda well before the second movie ended. I don’t really think it matters who won this little contest, because in the end I think it’s pretty safe to say that we are all losers.

King of Nothing

2008-11-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

I’m not much for fast food now-a-days. I don’t eat remarkably healthy, but I also try to steer clear of fast food establishments as often as I can. I’m no health nut by any stretch of the imagination, but I usually feel terrible after I eat at one of the big 3 (McDonalds, Burger King, & Wendy’s). Wendy’s I consider to be the lesser of 3 evils. Something about the place juts seems a little more legit than it’s counter parts. McDonalds I consider to be fairly harmless, as I grew up eating that garbage and it hasn’t killed me yet. Burger King and I however, have a sorted past. What am I getting at here? Oh you’ll see…

Put on your ranting hats ladies and gentleman. Burger King is fixing to get a sound thrashing.

I despise Burger King. For some reason I keep giving them the benefit of the doubt and about once a year I decide to give them another shot and every time I’m reminded why I hate them so much. They have some pretty funny commercials and in my humble opinion some damn good burger ideas. But while these burgers look delicious on paper and on TV, as soon as you unwrap one of these flame broiled disasters, you’re in for a nasty surprise. Just ONCE I’d like to have a sandwich from Burger Kind without having to reconstruct it piece by piece before I pick it up. BK is by far and large the sloppiest fast food I’ve ever eaten. I spend the first few seconds of every meal picking rotten veggies off my sandwich. Every burger I’ve had at BK contains the same basic ingredients: the lettuce brain stem, the butt end of the tomato, and an onion core. Thanks BK; those aren’t veggies, that’s compost. Nothing like ending the week on a bitter note.

Now I want a burger...

Here’s an example of the ad verses the real deal:

Looking to Waste a Few Bucks?

2008-11-06T12:18:00.000-08:00

If you’re anything like me then you wish you could shoot all of your food out of a gun. No? Really… just me? Fair enough.

The good people at FireBox.com apparently feel the same as I do and have thus created the condiment gun! This handy meal time revolver can be filled with either ketchup or mustard cartridges and is then fired onto your food in what can only be described as completely unnecessary.

The way I see it, using this gun can only have one of two outcomes:

1. “Thank you. You’ve successfully added condiments to my hotdog.”

2. “You've ruined my new blouse!”

Judging by the pictures, this thing seems to have some distance. I have a funny feeling that what it presents in comedic appeal, it lacks in accuracy. But who are we kidding? If you’re buying a toy gun to apply condiments, then you either have a great sense of humor or your head is full of candy. At any rate, if you’d like to purchase this little dealy, you can do so here.

Stop Lunch Thieves in Their Tracks!

2008-11-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

If you have, or have ever had, an office job, then you are probably quite familiar with the issue I’m about to discuss. How many times have you brought in your lunch, left it in the break room fridge, only to have one of your co-workers pilfer your sandwich? It happens every day and the culprits are rarely brought to justice. We’ve tried to battle this dilemma in our own personal ways: labeling our lunches, sending strongly worded emails, poisoning our sandwiches, each with mixed results. Finally, someone has come up with a practical and easy approach to solving this problem once and for all: the Anti-Theft Lunch Bag!

Sadly, these bags are not yet available to purchase, but you can make your own easily at home. Simply print green splotches on the side of a regular Ziploc bag! It’s that simple. No one wants a moldy old sandwich. Thanks to this great new invention; you can now protect your lunch from sandwich thieves with the help of a simple magic marker.

I for one am glad I won’t have to dole out any more savage beat downs to people I see eating what appears to be my lunch. I’m still sorry about that mix up by the way, Brendan.

Happy Birthday Dinner!

2008-11-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

I went home this past Sunday to celebrate the birth of my little sister, Mandy. My mom had prepared a meal of her choosing, which for some reason was little pasta hats. My sister is known for being quite a picky eater. Her favorite meals include macaroni and cheese, gnocchi and butter, and honestly I can’t think of a third thing. The child eats nothing. By nothing I mean I honestly can’t remember 5 things I have seen her eat and by child I mean 20-year-old.

Since my mom had to cook something for the grownups to eat as well, she made chicken parmesan and meatballs to go along with the hats. We were joined by my aunt and grandmother as well. My grandmother apparently drank enough to finally scream at me in front of the family about my tattoos. Frankly, I’m surprised it has taken this long.

After dinner, my mom rolled out a plethora of cakes for dessert: chocolate cake, vanilla cake, pumpkin pie, and a funfetti cake. If you are unfamiliar with funfetti then allow me to explain. Do you remember those cakes you had as a child that were white cake with little multi-colored bursts in the middle?

You know those cakes people generally stop receiving around their 6th birthday? My sister and I both insist that our mother make us a funfetti cake every year. Funfetti cake rules! One year (I believe it was my 19th or 20th birthday), my mother attempted to make my annual funfetti cake, but for some reason it collapsed upon itself in the oven. Being either pressed for time or incredibly lazy, she decided to simply frost the cake pile and serve it to me and my friends and family. I currently have that cake listed as the best birthday cake I have every received. It was reminiscent of a sweet, colorful, compost heap made of cake.

Give Me More Free Stuff!!!

2008-11-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

Did you hear that America? I want free stuff!

Last week both Cookware.com and Bertolli sent me free products to review. What a coincidence that the skillet sent to me from Cookware.com can be used to cook the dinner sent to me by Bertolli! Talk about killing two birds with one Faberware Classic Stainless Steel Skillet. You see what I did there? It’s called product placement people, everyone’s doing it.

First off, I’ve had Bertolli frozen dinners before and I can already tell you that I love them. The two issues I have are the portion sizes and the price. They run almost $10 a bag depending on where you shop and if you cook the meal for two; neither person will be entirely satisfied. As far as taste is concerned, these meals are great. I made the Garlic Shrimp and Penne dinner on Saturday night and it was delicious. I suppose the serving sizes are good if you cook it for one and save the left over’s. But a dinner for two is kind of pushing it. If they go on sale at your local grocer however, I recommend picking up a few. They’re great last minute dinner ideas and you wouldn’t even know they were frozen dinners if no one told you.

As for the skillet, it certainly cooked my dinner. That’s all I have to say. It’s a skillet. As long as the bottom didn’t melt and the handle didn’t fall off I’d say it performed admirably.

Also, it was quite shiny.

Happy Stupid Halloween!

2008-10-31T08:22:00.001-07:00

That's a tiny burger!

The Great Burger Quest: Week 5

2008-10-30T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone and welcome to week 5 of my still not quite famous Boston Burger Quest! This time I made a trip to Eastern Standard on Comm Ave in Boston’s Kenmore Square. Was it worth the 5 minute walk from my apartment in the bitter cold and blistering winds? Let’s discuss.

This week I was joined by lovely young woman who shall remain nameless, as I made my way to yet another restaurant for my weekly review. First off, Eastern Standard has a coat check. How delightfully fancy. Nothing says ‘class’ like having your grey hooded sweatshirt checked before you sit down. The next thing I noticed was their cocktail list, which was quite extensive. I opted to hold off on the drinks until after my meal. I would hate to have my judgment clouded by alcohol. For now at least…

Alright, it’s burger time. There was only one on the menu, so that made the decision rather easy. First impressions? The bun didn’t look too hot. I can look past that, but I’m starting to notice a disturbing trend that most restaurants put little effort into carefully choosing their burger buns. Is it so hard? In my opinion, the bun can make or break a good burger. The next thing I noticed was the burgers apparent lack of toppings. No tomato or onions. Ouch! That’s going to hurt your score. The burger itself was delightfully bland and disappointing. Wonderfully, average. Fantastically, mediocre. Get it? The fries were delicious, but that wasn’t nearly enough to warrant a $13 price tag.

I’m starting to wonder if this whole experiment has left me jaded. Have these last 3 burgers really been that boring or am I just starting to get sick of ground beef patties in general. I thought for sure Bartley’s would snap me out of my funk, but I was sadly mistaken.

On the Jon Defreest scale of Overwhelming Deliciosity and Continued Disappointment, I give the Eastern Standard Burger an amusingly average 5 out of 10. Congratulations Eastern Standard, you are the most expensive, yet lowest scored burger to date.

You Say Banana, I Say Stupid

2008-10-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

Do you ever just feel like an idiot even though you've done nothing wrong?

The other day I went to the little fruit stand in the lobby of my office and I noticed that they had, what appeared to be, very large bananas. They were so large in fact, that I thought they might have been plantains. So I kindly asked the Mexican woman behind the counter, "Are those bananas?"

She looked at me as if I was the absolute dumbest person she had ever seen in her entire life. I then realized that she didn't know enough English for me to effectively talk my way out of the situation. So I just smiled like an idiot and went on my way… without purchasing a banana.

Now I'm a well educated guy and I know my fruit. When I'm in the supermarket, I'm great at identifying fruit. But to that elderly foreign woman, I was nothing more than a blithering dolt. No matter what I do or say from this day forth, in her eyes I will forever be the grown man who wasn't sure if the yellow banana shaped fruit... was a banana.

Coffee, Spinach, Roast Beef, & Pickles

2008-10-28T12:43:00.001-07:00

What? What do I eat during the average work day? What a great question! Well for starters I never start my day without first stopping off at Starbucks on my way to work. I could be 20 minutes late and I’d still have to get my coffee before heading to the office. I’m useless without my coffee. I know that’s cliché, but it’s a fact. I am a caffeine junky and if I don’t get my fix, then I’m a stupid wreck.

I used to pick up a spinach feta wrap every morning too… but somewhere along the line I got sick of them. I haven’t had one in months, but today I was particularity hungry so I decided to treat myself. I was quickly reminding as to why I gave these things up: too much spinach. It was awful. I took a few bites out of the middle and then threw it away. 3 bucks well spent.

For lunch, I had my usual roast beef sandwich, chips, and a half a pickle. I usually spring for top shelf roast beef like Dietz and Watson London Broil, but I was in a rush this week and I had to get the prepackaged stuff. It’s not as bad as you’d think, but nowhere as good as the real stuff. If you’re gonna go roast beef, then you have to add some horseradish in there. I decided to make it a double and use horseradish spread and horseradish cheese. My dad turned me onto the stuff when I was in high school and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Someone recently asked me what my last meal would be and I replied: Rare Roast Beef with horseradish, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole. I’d also wash the whole thing down with a black and tan. Then I could die happy.

Shrimp Taco Safari

2008-10-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

I should review Ortega Taco Kits, you say? Sure, why not. Last night I made shrimp tacos using Ortega's wonderful hard-shell taco kit, which contains hard taco shells, taco seasoning, and taco sauce. All you need to supply are the veggies and a dead animal of your choosing. I decided to go the fancy route and use shrimp since the person I was dining with doesn’t consume red meat or chicken. Apparently, it’s okay to eat one of God’s children as long as it doesn’t have a spine. Real nice.

My mother used to make old fashioned beef tacos once a week when I was a kid. My record was 9 tacos in one sitting, a feat I have yet to replicate to this day. That was until the day she realized that she could simply throw all the fixin's onto one giant plate and call it taco salad. It all tastes the same anyway, so I had no complaints.

I feel these tacos would have been perfect if only I had some sour cream.

The tacos were really easy to make and using pre-cooked shrimp really helped cut down on the cooking time. The seasoning and the sauce were great and not too spicy. I prefer Ortega to the Taco Bell brand seasoning kits (which taste nothing like taco bell). I washed the whole meal down with Pacifico, which if you’re unfamiliar, is a more upscale Corona. My Mexican beer of choice is usually Negro Modelo, but that’s a story for another day.

Actually… I guess that is the whole story.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 4

2008-10-24T06:21:00.000-07:00

I’m feeling in the mood to ruffle a few feathers this morning. Against my better judgment, I decided to listen to countless readers that insisted that I eat at Bartley’s Burger Cottage in Harvard Square. I realize Harvard Square is outside the city limits, but by the same token, this is my contest and I’ll do what I like.

Bartley’s is not only widely known for having one of, if not, the best burgers in the Boston area, but in the entire continental United States! It was also voted 'Best of Boston' by Boston Magazine this year. It is for these reasons that I was planning on holding off on eating here for at least a few more weeks, but for whatever reason I decided to dine there last night. I was accompanied this time by my good friends Catherina and Natro.

Let’s discuss shall we?

For starters, Bartley’s was packed to the brim at 8:30pm on Thursday night. They must be doing something right. I came with a larger group than I have on my previous burger tastings, but luckily we were able to find a table rather quickly. The first thing I noticed about the menu? No booze. Not a great start. So I can’t wash my burger down with a beer… that’s fine, I’ll live. The next thing I noticed was that their menu was roughly 3 times as long as the one I had found on their official website yesterday afternoon. Every burger was a political reference or at the very least had something to do with Boston. I know I said that I would not be getting fancy with my burger choices, but I decided to throw some bacon on this time. My contest!

My first impression was somewhat disappointing. Perhaps this place had been hyped up so much that my taste buds had been prepared for ground beef nirvana. There was nothing wrong with this burger by any means… there just wasn’t anything extraordinary about it. It was cooked to perfection, the bun was nicely toasted, the veggies were fresh, and the fries were crunchy. My first thought was that this burger may have not surpassed my burger from Audubon Circle. I was taken back when I first bit into that burger, but I didn’t have the same reaction at Bartley's. However, in terms of overall burger presentation, toppings, and fries, I have to say that Bartley’s was the better meal. But it was close a close call. Closer than I’m sure many people would agree with. I’d like to return and be a little more adventurous with my menu selections.

On the Jon Defreest scale of Unreasonably High Expectations and Somewhat Underwhelming Deliciosity, I give the Bartley Burger a rather controversial 8 out of 10. Narrowly beating out Audubon Circle and thus becoming the best burger I have encountered to date.

A Little Seasonal Flavor

2008-10-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Today is one of the saddest days of the year. This morning at approximately 7:45am I officially made my annual switch from ice coffee to hot coffee. Save yourself the trouble, I’ve already alerted the press. I try to tough it out as long as I can every year, but once my fingers are numb by the time I reach my building, I know I need to change it up. Today isn’t just about saying goodbye to friends however; it is also about welcoming back old ones. These friends have seen me through many cold mornings and this morning I welcomed them back with open arms. Oh how I’ve missed your warm embrace, Seasonal Coffee Mate.

I don’t remember what year I first discovered Coffee Mate, though it was certainly a banner year for lil’ Jonny. The seasonal flavors are Egg Nog, Caramel Apple, Ginger Bread, Pumpkin Bread, and my personal favorite: Peppermint Mocha. I’ve already had 3 cups today! Call me dainty, but I love flavored coffee.

I’m a fancy gentleman and I deserve no less than rich coffee with a seasonal accent. It’s called sophistication people, get used to it.

You Don't Win Friends With $10 Salads

2008-10-22T13:07:00.000-07:00

I’m on a new found campaign to get back in shape and save some money. Both of which have been an epic failure thus far. Instead of grabbing some overpriced garbage from the food court, I opted to bring a sack lunch to work today. I was all geared up to enjoy my stupid turkey sandwich when I realized that I had misplaced it. I’d lose my head if it weren’t securely fashioned to my torso through a complicated series or muscles, tendons, and bone. So, my only choice was to walk myself down to the very food court that I had hoped to avoid. I had already blown my plan to save money today, so I figured I may as well try and keep it healthy.

Most of my options don’t really fall under the umbrella of “healthy”. In fact, most would be considered garbage food. I opted to get a salad from Tossed, because I can order online and I don’t have to wait in line. I chose to make my own salad consisting of baby field greens, chicken, chopped tomatoes, black beans, tortilla chips, and citrus chipotle dressing.

The best part was it was only $10! Wait a minute… that’s not a good thing at all. In fact, that stinks! No salad is worth $10 unless its greens are comprised of dollar bills and it tastes like concentrated rainbows. The salad was delicious, but that’s no excuse for the price. If I'm gonna drop $10 on lunch I want some sort of buffet or at the very least a lackluster steak. The only thing that I “Tossed” was my interest in this establishment. I spent 6 minutes trying to think of a clever closing line and THAT was the best I could come up with. They can't all be gems, folks.

Bacon: Is There Anything it Can't Do?

2008-10-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon some interesting bacon related images this afternoon and I thought I'd discuss them. Mainly, because I don't have my camera with me and I haven't eaten anywhere recently that's worth complaining about.

The thought of a bacon laced cinnamon bun makes me chuckle. Someone made a batch, tasted them, and thought to themselves... this can be worse for you. Cinnamon buns are among the most delicious/ worst foods a human can possibly eat. I would have to assume this is delicious, but would probably cause a heart attack almost instantly after it's ingested. Either way, sign me up.

Not satisfied with drowning your corn on the cob in butter and salt? How about wrapping that baby with delicious fried pig belly? Brilliant! Now deep fry it and cover it in chocolate and maybe you'll win my vote.

I have no words.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 3

2008-10-20T06:00:00.001-07:00

After I blasted the Necco Corporation for their abysmal and seemingly endless attempt to produce anything even remotely resembling candy last week, you’d think I’d have all the anger out of my system. You’d be wrong.

I put yet another notch in my burger belt yesterday afternoon at Coda in the South End. Many people had recommended I check this place out and I was more than willing to give them a shot. If you frequent my burger related posts, then you may recall that I have been quite complimentary in my reviews thus far. That ends now. An incredibly lackluster weekend, coupled with the end of the Red Sox post season and a subpar burger have left me feeling a bit salty this morning. So look out Coda, you’re about to get a sound thrashing.

I was accompanied by the lovely Ms. Stef and even that was not enough to salvage this meal. The atmosphere was fine, nothing fancy. The service was somewhat slow, but I was in no hurry, so it didn’t affect my meal. The burger itself could be summed up in one word that I will spell incorrectly for dramatic effect: Booooooooooorrrrrrring. It was magnificently average and totes quite a hefty price tag at $10.

There was nothing remotely interesting about this burger. The bun was boring, the meat was bland, and there’s probably a third thing, but the whole meal was so mundane that it’s difficult to conjure up anything else of note. The fries were okay… but they could have been crunchier.
Do not be deceived by my wonderful photographs. This burger was nowhere near as delicious as it looks. On the Jon Defreest Scale of Overwhelming Bitterness and Misplaced Hostility, I give the Coda Burger an extremely generous 5 out of 10.

Tomorrow I will be reviewing Sting Ray burgers and yes, Recipe Girl, that reference was for you.

The Candy Rant Can

2008-10-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

We’re fast approaching the all Hallows Eve and we all know what that means: candy. I’m not ashamed to admit that I would still be trick or treating to this day if it were socially acceptable. I miss coming home with a pillow case full of candy, spreading it all over the floor, and giving all the candy I didn’t want to my little sister. You would think some of the awful candy that has existed for years would have made its way out of the rotation by now.

Necco Wafers, for example. I despise Necco Wafers. Wow, I’d love some candy, but I also want to chew on a piece of chalk. They’re the worst! I suppose they’re great if you love the taste of multi-colored nothing. I would likely them to eating Tums antacids, but I actually enjoy those to an extent. I used to work at a grocery store in high school and every year we would set up for Halloween and every year we would box up all the Necco Wafers and ship them right back to the 9th circle of hell, which is where I’m assuming the Necco corporation headquarters are located. I doubt any have been made since the 1920’s. They simply recycle the same batch year after year, but nobody notices.

I remember vividly, what my candy surplus would look like 2-3 days after Halloween. I would spread it all out looking for one last Twix Bar, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, or Charleston Chew only to find a seemingly never ending quantity of Necco Wafers, Bit-o-Honey’s, and those stupid strawberry hard candies that carry no brand name.

What were you favorite and least favorite Halloween Candies?

Brex-Mex

2008-10-16T07:59:00.001-07:00

I have recently discovered that my favorite genre of breakfast food may be Mexican. I have developed a habit of ordering breakfast burritos from Boloco as a weekend hangover cure and every-so-often I will get one during the week. However, during the week burritos don’t really help settle my stomach quite as well.

Some mornings I go without breakfast, which I know is never a good idea. Most days I just have some peanut butter on toast, as it’s quick, easy, and I have all the ingredients in my desk at my office. But having a food court in the lobby of my building makes it hard to resist the occasional splurging for a nice greezy breakfast.

This morning I went with a Qdoba breakfast quesadilla (pronounce Case-a-dilla if you want to further beat that joke into the ground). We get it! That’s how it’s spelled! Just say it the right way, no one finds you amusing. I lost my train of thought…

Oh right, breakfast! People have been telling me to try the quesadilla for a while now, so I finally broke down and gave it a try. I went with the chicken variety. The quesadilla was comprised of chicken, scrambled eggs, tomatoes, cheese, and sour cream, and it was awesome. As delicious as it was, I’m not entirely convinced that the human body was designed to process Mexican food at 9:30 in the morning. I would consider this to be a wonderful breakfast, but perhaps I will be humming a different tune in 30 minutes or so.

Finally a Reason to Chew on Your Pen!

2008-10-15T07:25:00.001-07:00

I’m not one for shameless product placement, but someone sent me this product link and I couldn’t help but talk about it. For one I happen to think it’s quite ingenious and secondly, I really really want these! Sadly, they are just part of an art project and not available for sale. At least not that I could find.

These nifty silverware pen caps would be perfect for someone like me who has to eat at least 2 meals a day at the office. The idea of using these things has got me so amped up that I just used the word “Nifty” in a sentence without trying to be ironic. Have you ever tried to scoop peanut butter out of the jar with a flimsy plastic knife? It’s almost impossible.

I have an unhealthy habit of chewing the ends of my pens anyway, so this product seems perfect for me! At least now I can get some nourishment.

That's a Spicy Weekend!

2008-10-14T05:57:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I’ll do pretty much anything to get a laugh. It’s my curse. This weekend was my buddy’s birthday, so we decided to head out and watch the Sox game at our favorite neighborhood bar (which just so happens to be next door to my apartment).

Back to the point of my story, my buddy Scott decided to challenge his roommate to eat an entire plate of chopped jalapenos. Sounds like a good idea, right? They lined the plate up in front of him and I started the countdown.

“3…2…”… and here’s where the story takes a turn.

What I should have said was “1… GO!” What I did say, was nothing. Instead, I grabbed the entire plate of jalapenos and crammed them into my mouth.

Long story short, I spent the next 45 minutes breathing heavy in the corner like I was having an asthma attack while intermediately sobbing into a glass of Irish cream the bartender gave me. I don’t know what possessed me to do such a stupid thing. I wasn’t even part of the bet, I had nothing to gain! The moral of the story is… I totally rule.

The next day, I ventured to Harvard Square in Cambridge with some friends. There was some sort of Oktoberfest going on, if I am not mistaken. We ended up eating dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant, Border Café. I had forgotten how much I love that place. The only Mexican food I get now is from Cactus Club on Boylston Street. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cactus Club, but that dump can’t hold a candle to Border Café.

They have a great mix of Mexican and Cajun fare. I had the shrimp and crawfish enchiladas and they were amazing. I had never had crawfish before coming to this place over the summer and now I’m hooked. Crawfish tastes like a shrimp and a lobster had a baby and then immediately threw it into a pot of boiling water and seasoned it with Cajun spices.

Leftover Blog Post

2008-10-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

I have a few reviews and food items in my queue currently that I would love to blog about. Unfortunately, my camera apparently is no longer on speaking terms with my computer as the two refuse to communicate. Rather than plagiarize an article about health food, I decided to create a makeshift post out of leftover pictures from my weekend at my parent’s house 2 weeks ago. You know I can.

First off, let’s take a look at my parent’s refrigerator. I took this picture on Saturday morning while trying to plan my breakfast. I had almost forgotten what a full sized fridge looked like. I opened the fridge door, knowing full well that I had a plethora of breakfast options waiting for me.

Does anyone else see what I see in the bottom right corner drawer? Is that…?

Yoo-Hoo! America’s favorite chocolate… uh… drink! Don’t ask me why, but I love Yoo-Hoo. Always have. When my family used to vacation in New Hampshire I used to walk to the corner store, where they had Yoo-Hoo in 4 different varieties: Regular, Double Chocolate, Mint Chocolate, and Chocolate Banana. To this day, I have never seen those varieties anywhere else. I promptly killed about 3 boxes of Yoo-Hoo before continuing to look for some real food.

I ended up making a breakfast sandwich comprised of real baked ham (not the lunch meat variety), smoked cheddar, eggs (from the chickens behind my house), and ketchup on a toasted bagel. It was every bit as delicious as it sounds.

My parent's fridge is often times the highlight of my trips home. There's always something good in there and it's amazing how much easier it is to make a meal when you have a full range of ingredients. As opposed to my fridge, which usually contains beer, hotdogs, and 6 half empty bottles of ranch dressing.

Pizza Party USA!

2008-10-10T06:14:00.001-07:00

I’m obsessed with these new readymade pizza crusts I found at Shaw’s the other day. I can’t remember the brand name, but they’re great thin crust pizza crusts that make pizza making almost too easy. All you need are the crusts, sauce, shredded cheese, and whatever you want to drop on top of it.

I decided to try a new spin on the classic Hawaiian pizza, by replacing the ham with spicy chorizo sausage. It was delicious. I’ve been making pizza all week, and I’d upload those pictures as well if my camera wasn’t being difficult. I also made a buffalo chicken pizza and a chicken sausage pizza. I’ve been eating really healthy this week. Hawaiian pizza on Monday, buffalo chicken pizza Tuesday, a burger from Audubon Wednesday, and chicken sausage pizza last night. Tomorrow, I plan on going pants shopping as I’m most likely about to jump a waist size or two within the next few days.

Pineapple and Chorizo

Fully cooked

I think I’ve done more cooking in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 3 months. Granted, I’m not tackling any hard projects here, but I’m getting there. It’s also helping me keep my kitchen clean, which is usually a challenge in-and-of-itself. My sink is more often than not a landfill for dishes, glasses, and silverware.

How did a post about pizza turn into me talking about my kitchen sink? I don’t do transitional material, if you haven’t noticed.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 2

2008-10-09T07:51:00.001-07:00

Greetings and welcome everyone to week two of my search for the best burger in Boston! I have come to the conclusion that I need a more creative name for this project… and after 15 minutes of brainstorming the best name given was ‘Burger Merger’ (Thanks Danielle, but that name stinks). So if anyone out there has a good idea for name for this burger hunt, please don’t hesitate to send it my way.

Now on to the burgers! Last night I ventured to Audubon Circle on Beacon St in Boston. Due to this restaurants proximity to Fenway Park, it is a wonder that I have never heard of this place until now. The atmosphere was great (though a tad dark) and the menu was extensive and not that expensive. I was joined this time by the beautiful Ms. Danielle, as I continued my search for this city’s most perfect burger.

Audubon Circle was sent to me by many readers and was also high atop many of the “Best Burger” lists I found online, so I felt I should give it a fair shot. I can now understand why people speak so highly of this establishment. The burger was quite good. Certainly, this burger was better than the Bukowski Barfly Burger from last week. The most notable improvements were the bun and meat itself. The bun was along the lines of a sour dough roll, being crunchy on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. Possibly one of the best burger buns I’ve ever encountered.

The patty itself also had a taste that I have never before experienced. I don’t know how to describe it accurately but I would wager it had something to do with its seasoning. Either way it was one of the better burgers I have had during my lifetime. My only gripes were the burgers lack of onions (which is a staple in my opinion) and the restaurant’s decision to serve home fries in Lou of tradition French fries.

I realize these pictures stink, but this place was really dark for some reason.

After tasting this burger I decided that I need to alter my rating scale. My scores now range from 1-10 as opposed to 1-5. After scoring the Bukowski Burger 3.5 out of 5, I realized that didn’t give me a lot of room to maneuver. I have since gone back to that post and changed that score to 6 out of 10. Back to Audubon, I give this burger 7.5 out of 10 on the Jon Defreest scale of overwhelming deliciosity.

This was a great burger, but I think I can do better. Nay! I will do better.
Join me next week as I continue this lil’ journey and for love of God someone help me come up with a better name than “Burger Merger”.

I mean... that name doesn’t even make sense…

Corso Family Wine Making Day: Part 3

2008-10-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

In a welcome departure from yesterdays tripe discussion, today I’m going to talk about pies! I woke up Saturday morning to the aroma of 6 different pies baking in the oven! If you put a gun to my head, I don’t think I could name you 6 different pies. Alright, that was an exaggeration, but it did well to further my point. 6 pies is pretty impressive. There was pumpkin, apple, blueberry, chocolate cream, lemon meringue, and some kind of brownie tort pie.

Personally, I am very particular when it comes to pie, and I really only enjoy them during the colder months. Pumpkin pie is my personal favorite by quite a significant margin. A slice of pumpkin pie with a vanilla ice cream would be my last meal if/when I end up on death row. There’s just something about the combination of the two flavors that is unparallelled.

That pretty much wraps up the 3 part series on my family filled weekend. This is good, because I’m pretty backed up with topics and pictures that I have yet to post. Tonight, my burger journey will take me to Audubon Circle in Fenway, which is supposed to have a great burger. I guess we’ll have to see about that.

I’ll leave you with some pictures.

Here are 3 of my mother's pies fresh out of the oven. Pumpkin, blueberry, & apple, if I'm not mistaken.

Here's a closeup of the pumpkin pie, seconds before it met it's maker.

Here's my Aunti Ri illustrating our families apparent inability to cut a pie like civilized adults.

What blog would be complete without an arbitrary picture of the family dog?

Corso Family Wine Making Day: Part 2

2008-10-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this post by saying that I pride myself on my willingness to try new and unique cuisine. Sure, there are a few food items that I steer clear of, but for the most part, I’m very receptive to different foods. Of all the food that I have been exposed to in my life, there is one that haunts my dreams every year at about this time. During our annual wine making dinner, there is one dish that is inescapable. My aunts, uncles, and even my own mother enjoy this food to no end and to them and many others around the world, it is considered a delicacy. I consider it an atrocity. I’m speaking of course of…wait for it…

Tripe.

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of tripe, then I strongly suggest that you keep it that way. For those of you that must know, tripe is made from the first 3 stomachs of a cow and is about as appetizing as it sounds.

I'll just have a burger, thanks.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking: where have I heard of tripe before? Funny you should ask! Tripe is a staple ingredient in most dog food and has also been used in the English language as a synonym for “garbage”. Every year I try to choke down a single piece of tripe just to fit in and every year I immediately regret my persistence. I can’t describe in words how unholy this stuff is. I think the main reason I can never eat it is because my body simply does not recognize it as food.

Regardless of my personal opinions, people love this stuff… I guess. My family included. My grandma at least took the common courtesy of mixing it with her famous tomato sauce to help mask some of the more piercing odors. This whole thing has got me wondering… Is there anything that your family eats that makes you question their sanity?

Here's my grandma's attempt to make this stuff look like it was meant for human consumption.

Here's a close up!

Corso Family Wine Making Day: Part 1

2008-10-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

Today, I have a rare treat for everyone! A live blog post! By live, I mean that the content below was written during the actual event and is in no way live. I have so many pictures and so much to talk about that I have decided to split this post up into several sections. I will release the 2nd and possibly 3rd installments in the coming days. For now, enjoy!

“This weekend I participated in my family’s annual tradition of wine making. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning, then you may recall that I spoke very highly of my family in regards to their cooking ability. Apparently, I was mistaken.

This year was nothing short of a catastrophic comedy of errors. My grandmother spilled sauce all over herself, my aunt severely burned her hand on a bowl, and my mother set a dish towel on fire.

Good work team.

Sadly, I have no photos of the actual wine making process; because I am what the Italians refer to as an "Idiot". I left my camera in my bag, far away from the actual process itself. This weekend has been nothing short of a testament to overall ineptitude of me and my family. The fact that we are even able to function in normal society is a mystery to me.

Even with our laundry list of blunders this year, we still managed to turn out a most impressive dining experience. Perhaps it's the wine talking, or maybe it’s the bakers dozen of Manhattans that I have consumed, but regardless of our short comings, I still challenge anyone to put their family up against mine in the area of food and drink...”

I’m not sure what happened next, but I apparently ran out of steam. I’m actually pretty sure that I fell asleep in my aunt’s recliner for a good 20 – 30 minutes. Tomorrow I'll get a little more in depth into what we actually ate. One particular item may be a little hard to stomach. Yes, that was a hint.

In the meantime, here are a few pictures from Saturday to help hold you over.

This is my mother preparing some appetizers. I despise celery, so I went hungry. Thanks mom.

Here is my grandma making what is probably the best pizza in the world. This photo was taken moments before she spilled sauce all over her white shirt.

Here's me after 15 minutes of trying to explain to my mother how to use my camera. THIS was the best picture out of 6.

The Great Burger Quest: Week 1

2008-10-03T05:39:00.000-07:00

Last night, I began my journey to find the best burger in Boston. I decided to start with a bar that is closest to my place of business. Not only is this bar known for sporting a tasty burger, but it also happens to be named after my favorite author: Charles Bukowski. I'm speaking of course of Bukowski Tavern on Dalton st. in Back Bay. I was accompanied by the lovely Ms. Julia, who was with me when I first decided to embark on this journey.

Bukowski Tavern is a hole in the wall bar, that I suppose could be best described as a dive bar. The bar itself is littered with paintings, photos, and the writings of the late American poet Charles Bukowski. A poet known for his drinking problem and womanizing, which is probably why I enjoy his work so much. If you plan on dining here, be advised that the entire establishment is cash only. Their menu even totes the slogan: In God we trust, all others pay cash. But enough about the bar! That's not why we're here. We're here to discuss the Bukowski Tavern Barfly Burger.

Being the first of many burgers that I will be putting under a microscope for this blog, I don't have much to compare it to. Basically, this will be the burger which will become the basis for the rest of my ratings. I'm still hammering out the details of my rating system, so please bare with me. I've decided that every burger I test must be in the same family. That being a plain cheeseburger with tomato, onion, and pickles. I will not indulge in any fancy themed burgers with bacon, mushrooms, and the like. That wouldn't be fair, as some places offer far more options than others. I'm searching for the best basic American cheeseburger, darn it! Please pardon my language... I get excited.

Oh right, the burger!

I'm not going to mince words: This burger ruled! It tasted like a slightly more flavorful version of a burger you would cook at home on your BBQ grill. It had a slightly charred taste, which I greatly enjoyed. It was perfectly grilled, with no pink center, and was still fairly juicy. Definitely not as greezy as burgers I've had in the past, but I haven't yet decided if that's a good thing or not. The vegetables were also very well executed. I know this isn't a factor for some people, but there is nothing I hate more than a burger with less than fresh or a disproportionate amount vegetables. The bun was a toasted egg bun, that wasn't too big or too hard, which made it very easy to eat. I washed the whole thing down with a Young's Double Chocolate Stout, which is as close as you can get to having a milkshake with dinner while still imbibing alcohol.

Overall this was a my first Barfly Burger and definitely will not be my last. I would safely say that this burger is well above average and I gladly recommend it to anyone. However, I feel it is probably a far cry from Boston's best.

On the Jon Defreest Burger Rating Scale of Overwhelming Deliciosity, I give the Bukowski Tavern Barfly Burger a 6 out of 10.

Next week, I will embark on week 2 of my now famous, Boston burger search. I have yet to decide where my search will take me next. I have a laundry list of places to check out, so the decision is not an easy one to make.

Any suggestions are welcome.

The Winds are Changing

2008-10-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog I planned on discussing healthy recipes, trends, and weight loss. I wanted to help people find that healthy balance between eating right and eating well. I hope you all enjoyed it, because I'm done. I thought I had a passion for healthy food and you know what? I was wrong. I have a passion for food. Over the past few weeks the direction of this blog has been slowly changing and not on purpose. The posts about the dangers of sugary drinks have been replaced with recipes for chocolate covered bacon and beer butt chicken. I don't enjoy going home and cooking a healthy meal. I enjoy going out and eating like a regular person. Which is what I do anyway and what I should be writing about.

Sure shrimp flatbread pizza is healthy and tasty, but I'll gladly trade it for a greezy (and I spelled it that way on purpose) bacon cheeseburger from a local bar. When I wrote about how to lose weight and eat right no one cared. When I started talking about pub food and Muppet cakes people started participating.

With my new burger adventure starting this evening, I plan on focusing more on real food. I feel that it isn't the information that I give that people enjoy, as much as it is the manner in which I deliver it. I'm hoping this will make the blog more enjoyable as a whole. If it doesn't work, I can always just go back. It's my blog and I'll do what I like.

The Quest for the Perfect Burger

2008-10-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

How many of you are familiar wth the television program How I Met Your Mother? Well if you're not, you should be and if you are, then you'll know what I'm talking about. Two nights ago a new episode debuted in which one of the main characters, Marshall (played by Jason Segal), went on a quest to find the best burger in New York.

When he had first moved to the city 8 years ago, he stumbled into a small diner and ordered a burger. It was the greatest burger he had ever had. Sadly, he neglected to note where this establishment was located or what it was named. For the next 8 years he was not able to enjoy a burger anywhere else, as they all paled in comparison to this one perfect burger. Below is his description of said burger:

"I mean…that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then…a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food."

This monologue has inspired me to venture out on my own quest. A quest to find Boston's best burger! I will dedicate one day a week to eating a burger at a different establishment in the hopes of finding that one perfect burger. I will dictate my findings in this very blog, so get excited.

The only question is... Where should I start?

South End Excursion

2008-09-30T06:07:00.000-07:00

For someone who eats out as much as I do, it’s surprising how little I know about Boston’s South End. The South End is home to many of the best restaurants in the city and also my good friend Julia. She is well aware that now-a-days I can barely afford to feed myself, so in her infinite compassion, offered to make me dinner last night.

Not only was I offered dinner, I was also offered an impressive menu: chicken burgers, chicken mushroom sausages, Mahi Mahi, or sweet and sour chicken. I chose chicken mushroom sausages, as I am currently on a huge mushroom kick. They are one of the few foods that I never ate in my youth, so now that I know I enjoy them, they’re all I want to eat. See also: Fish, broccoli, & most varieties of beans.

The meal was nothing short of amazing. It featured chicken mushroom sausage, peas, and gnocchi in a ricotta tomato sauce (which I’ve been told is very Sicilian.) I don’t care where it’s from, because it was delicious.

I think next time I think I’ll try the Mahi Mahi.

Sunday, Lazy Sunday

2008-09-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

It rained ALL weekend long! I spent most of my Saturday and Sunday running around in damp socks looking for an umbrella so I could run my errands. By the time Sunday came around I was exhausted, wet, and sick of being stuck inside. Not only was the weather bring me down, but I also realized that I have pretty much no money until I get paid a week from now. So in Lou of my usual take out dinner or restaurant excursion, I decided to have a college style dinner with my roommate. We did however; "Gussy" it up a little.

We went with cheddarwurst with sour kraut and 2 different kinds of mustard! We are fancy gentleman and we deserve no less than 2 types of mustard. Not only did we have 2 types of mustard, but we also decided that water was not an acceptable liquid in which to boil our cheddarwursts. We thought Miller Lite would be a more suitable alternative for men of our caliber.

I’ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger in 12 Years

2008-09-26T13:37:00.000-07:00

Wellness Educator Karen Hanrahan decided to keep a McDonalds hamburger for 12 years in the name of science. She purchased the burger in 1996 and set is aside so she could later expose the “meat's” inability to decompose. As you can tell from the image below, there is very little difference between the antique patty on the right and the brand new patty. It’s just a little darker and apparently exhibits an odor that can’t be found in nature.

Rumor has it that, burger antiquing makes a fine hobby for some people. Certain websites even give step by step instructions for how you can start your own collection of immortal hamburgers. I have no idea what would possess someone to take up such a past time, but who am I to pass judgment? Oh wait! That’s pretty much all I do.

These people are fools.

On a completely unrelated note, check out my friend Jen’s blog: Creative Confectionery. She’s an excellent baker and she even made me robot cupcakes on my birthday. Furthermore, in a bizarre coincidence, the cupcake is still sitting on my desk and has been for about 8 months. It has completely solidified and still smells as good as the day it was baked.

Starbucks Breakfast Blunder

2008-09-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Starbucks. I don’t care what anyone says, they’re the best for a reason. Their coffee and service are vastly superior to the competition, but I will also be the first to admit that their breakfast menu is just… okay. They have a plethora of fancy muffins, scones, and a few varieties of breakfast sandwiches and wraps. Everything is just alright in my opinion. I can’t eat a muffin for breakfast. I just can’t have that much sugar that early in the morning; it makes me feel awful all day. I need protein for breakfast. Bacon, sausage, and eggs are the foundation of a good day.

Starbucks has now rolled out a new healthy menu that includes oatmeal, granola bars, and platters containing cheese, fruit, and hardboiled eggs. The only thing that is more disgusting than a hardboiled egg is a hardboiled egg that comes prepackaged. While I applaud Starbucks’ attempt to offer more healthy options, hardboiled eggs are an instrument of evil. The texture is ungodly, they smell like sewage, and nobody can eat one without getting it all over their hands and face. Thanks Starbucks, but no thanks. Just make my coffee and stick with that.

A Taste of Fall

2008-09-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

Since yesterday I went on a diatribe about pumpkin shaped peeps, I thought today I’d speak positively of a pumpkin inspired food item. This item happens to be one of my favorite parts of the fall. I’m talking about pumpkin ice cream. At first it doesn’t sound terribly appealing. I'll admit that when I first heard about it, I figured it would taste more like a bitter vegetable paste than a delicious dessert. I was wrong. I made sure to mark that day on my calendar, as I am so rarely wrong that I felt it was of historical significance.

I first discovered pumpkin ice cream at the ice cream shop where I worked as a scooper in my teens. I won’t mention the name of the establishment, because I despise the family that owns it and I don’t want to drive any business their way. Irrational personal grudges aside, their ice cream is pretty good. Pumpkin ice cream tastes almost exactly like pumpkin pie in my opinion. Depending on who makes this ice cream, it may have a stronger cinnamon or nutmeg presence than others.

Pumpkin ice cream is best from a homemade ice cream parlor, but if you must get your fill from your local grocer, then I recommend Edy’s Ice Cream. Edy’s has a great reputation for making deliciously creamy ice cream that is actually healthier than most commercial brand names.

For the ultimate fall experience, try dropping a scoop on top of some warm apple crisp.

I’m serious, do it right now… I’ll wait.

This One's for my Peeps!

2008-09-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

There are very few foods on this planet that I don’t like. However, what I’m about to mention doesn’t quite qualify as food; at least not as I understand the definition. I’m speaking of the special edition Halloween Pumpkin Peeps.

Peeps, for those of you that are unaware, are essentially puffs of rubbery sugar that vaguely resemble holiday themed objects and characters. You’re most likely more familiar with their Easter version which are in the shape or either a baby chick or a bunny. Regardless of their color, shape, or religious affiliation; peeps are the worst.

Many people seem to think they enjoy these abominations of nature, but they're wrong. Even if you think you like Peeps, you don't. This edition is even worse than most, because they are sugar-free. All they are is sugar! What’s the point? The Peeps ingredient list contains two things: Sugar and partially hydrogenated nightmares.

Not only do Peeps have the texture and taste of a sweetened Tempurpedic mattress, but they also come with a handy warning.

I don’t know about you, but I like my seasonal candy treats to come with a surgeon general’s warning. Peeps stink. I'd rather take a bite out of a decorative autumn squash.

What are your thoughts on Peeps?

Break on Through...

2008-09-22T13:17:00.001-07:00

To the Other Side.

Today, I want to talk about one of Boston’s hidden gems for 2 reasons: The first reason being that this establishment is rapidly becoming one of my favorite hang outs, and the second being that I couldn’t think of anything else to write about.

I’m speaking of course of the Other Side Café on Newbury Street in Boston. Described by many as a café with a drinking problem, the Other Side hosts a fantastic beer selection and won the Best of Boston 2008 award for best vegetarian menu. The food and drink selection are great, but the best part about the Other Side is the atmosphere. It certainly isn’t your typical Boston eatery, especially considering that it is located on Newbury Street.

I would describe the Other Side as “Artsy”. Almost everyone who works there is covered in tattoos (so I fit right in) and the walls are adorned with paintings, illustrations, and photos by local students and artists. The bathroom walls are giant murals that seem to change with the seasons, and the music appears to be from the iPod of whoever is working on that particular day.

I have eaten dinner there countless times, but learned this past weekend that they also have an incredible brunch menu. The name escapes me, but they had one brunch special that consisted of a giant waffle, bacon, coffee syrup, and a beer. They market this wonder as containing all 4 major food groups and I am hard-pressed to disagree.

Soda vs. Pop vs. Coke

2008-09-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

Depending on the region of the United States in which you were raised, you most likely have a different name for soft drinks. Being born in MA, I've been reffering to these drinks as "Soda"( as represented by the yellow) my whole life. Unlike my roomate, who hails from Iowa, and calls all soft drinks "Pop" (Blue).

It's the little things that make this country great, isn't it? A friend of mine recently moved to Arkansas and has informed me that everyone in that great state calls these drinks "Coke" (Red), even those brewed by the Pepsi corperation. His story checks out, as the map below indicates.

It would seem those that use the word "Pop", dominates the soft drink naming world. At least they will until they all figure out that they're wrong and start calling it "soda" like they should.

"Pop" that in your pipe and smoke it.

The Future is Now! Sort Of...

2008-09-18T13:11:00.000-07:00

I’m somewhat surprised that no one thought of this sooner, but I bring you the future of low calorie snacking: Slim Chips. How low in calories are they? How about none? That's right, none calories.

These “chips” are more of an art project than a snack item. The concept is pretty interesting, none the less. These snacks are made of edible paper and seasoned with natural flavoring. They come in 3 flavors: blueberry, peppermint, and sweet potato.

While you shouldn’t expect to see these Slim Chips in your local grocery store anytime soon, this could be the future of healthy snacking. People don’t eat chips for nourishment. They eat them because they taste good and have a crunchy texture. If this idea could be synthesized into a more practical product, it could make for the next generation of munchies. Or maybe they won't. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a scientist.

Also, I don’t know how you’d dip them…

Uburger: Above All Burgers

2008-09-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

If you want a hamburger fast, your options are pretty much endless. McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys; these establishments are everywhere! Most of us in the United States have grown up on this food, unfortunately.

I for one need something different! I'm sick of chain restaurants. In my hometown we had NOTHING but franchise restaurants. That's one of my favorite parts of living in the city; the food. In the areas populated by college students, I see a lot of chain restaurants, but for the most part, there is a wide variety of unique places to choose from. Uburger is one of those places.

Uburger (Short for University Burger), is a burger joint located in Kenmore Square, Boston, Ma. Built to sustain the Boston University college population, Uburger is very popular and in my opinion, rightfully so. Uburger has a wide variety of burger topping options, a fun atmosphere, and a surprisingly diverse menu.

Here's my meal. A Cowboy Burger, fries, and soda. The Cowboy Burger consists of an all beef patty, melted cheese, grilled mushrooms, bacon, and BBQ sauce. It was everything I hoped it would be. They also have burgers named after Red Sox players like the U Papi, Ubeckett, and a third choice that escapes me at the moment.

If you're going to commit to eating a burger and fries for dinner, you have to make peace with the fact that you're not going to feel great in about 20 minutes. I finished my evening with some red wine, which I think may have aided in my burgers digestion. I've dined at Uburger a few times before and this was definately my least painful experience.

I'll spare you the details.

Strange Fruit

2008-09-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

The Japanese have done it again. Just when you think things couldn’t get any weirder, now we have green tangerines! These uniquely beautiful, yet strangely unsettling citrus fruits are known by the Japanese as ‘Aomikon’. They apparently have a wonderfully sweet taste that has been likened to that of a strawberry.

“Mikon’ is the Japanese word for ‘ripe tangerine’. ‘Ao’ translates to… you guessed it: Blue. Wait… what? Apparently, the Japanese don’t make it a habit of distinguishing clearly between green and blue. Never-the-less, this strange fruit is only green for a short while, so you have to catch them at just the right time. They are coming into season right now.

Along with their cool color combination and great taste, Aomikon are also chalked full of antioxidants and help lower high blood pressure. I am now on a crusade to find this illusive fruit, even though I’m not sure whether or not they are available in the United States. If they are, rest assured, I will find them and eat them. Then I’ll blog about it.

Hot Dog! We Have a Wiener

2008-09-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to my parent’s house, so that I could attend my step sisters’ Christening. I took this opportunity to try out the new grill that my parents had just bought. After a long day of playing Frisbee, my friends and I decided it was time to fire it up and throw down on some hot dogs.

We went to the super market and bought a handful of Pearl beef franks and one giant deli pickle. I’m a big fan of pickles and relish, but I prefer both to be more sour than sweet. I despise bread and butter pickles, for some reason. I also have a hard time finding a relish that isn’t too sweet for my liking, so I decided to chop up a sour deli pickle and make my own. I’m a man of action!

That's some mighty fine chopping.

Dogs and relish, ready for the grill.

Is that not the greatest hot dog you've ever seen in your life? These beef franks are also much more filling than a regular (spare parts) hot dog. While I can usually put down two hot dogs in one sitting with little issue, I found this one tough to finish. Also, the relish was a hit. Even though I guess I can't techinally call it relish, because it was lacking all the other ingredients that constitute a relish. It was really just a chopped pickle. None-the-less, it was better than any hot dog you've ever had, and I say that with no hesitation.

America's Finest Sports Bar

2008-09-12T12:18:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd take this Friday afternoon to bring some attention to one of my new favorite bars in Boston: McGreevy's. Replacing the God awful Foggy Goggle earlier this summer, McGreevy's has quickly become a staple of mine on Boylston St.

The food is great for starters. While the Pour House is still my favorite neighborhood bar, and I happen to love their food, I'll also be the first to admit it's not that great. For some reason though, I still love it.

McGreevy’s has a small, yet diverse menu, offering a variety of bar and Irish pub food. Since it's opening, I have ordered the cheeseburger, turkey burger, and on more than one occasion, their steak tips. All of which, I highly recommend. The steak tips in particular were surprisingly good for a bar.

McGreevy's is probably now the best place in the Back Bay area to watch a sporting event in my opinion. I have watched countless Red Sox games there and almost every Celtics playoff game. It's a fun atmosphere and all around a great time. The bar is also owned by the Dropkick Murphy’s, so the music selection is different, and in my opinion, better than most of the stuff you here in a Boston bar. It's a great mix of classic rock and Irish punk rock.

Just go there.

The Omnivore's Hundred

2008-09-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

I've seen this list on several different food blogs over the past couple of weeks and I thought it was pretty cool. Since I've been struggling to find something to write about today, this seemed like as good a time as any to add it to my blog. I've only eaten 28/100 things from this list, so I guess I have a lot of work to do before I die. The only thing I refuse to eat from this list is Fugu.

I don't think any fish can possibly be tasty enough to risk becoming paralyzed and then slowly suffocating, but that's just me. I bet it doesn't even taste that good. That's like chocking to death on a food you don't even like. I'm sure even once the panic sets in you're still thinking "This tastes awful" in the back of your head. At any rate here's the list. See how you scored.

Here’s what you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. ~~Fugu~~
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Wine, a Plan, & a Hammer

2008-09-10T05:38:00.000-07:00

It’s happened to the best of us; you’re all set to sit down and enjoy a nice bottle of wine with dinner or alone in a hammock, when you notice that there isn’t a corkscrew in sight. What do you do? Give up? Of course not! I was reading Wired Magazine, for some reason, and I picked up this helpful little trick. Next time you need to open a bottle of wine and you can’t find an opener, don’t head for the kitchen, head for your tool box. While frantically chipping away at the stopper with a steak knife may seem like a great idea at the time, no one likes chunks of floating cork in their Chardonnay. Look for these 3 tools next time you find yourself in need of an opener.

· A long screw
· A screwdriver
· A claw hammer

Step 1) Gently screw the screw into the top of the cork or stopper. The trick is to go deep enough so that you can safely pull out the cork by grabbing the screw. Try not to go too deep or you’ll come out the other side and end up with cork in your wine.

Step 2) Smash the bottle with the hammer and you’re done! I’m kidding, don’t do that. Why would you do that? Next, position the claw end of the hammer over the screw, so you can pull out the screw like you would a poorly laid nail.

Step 3) Lastly, pull the stopper out slowly, so as not to rip the cork or hit yourself in the teeth with the hammer. Ta-dah! You’re wine is now cork free and ready to drink!

(Enjoy responsibly)

Muppet Show Cake

2008-09-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

I found this photo album on Digg.com yesterday afternoon and I had to pass it along. How do you not click on a link entitled Muppet Show Cake? I was shocked at how well done it was. I'm assuming the muppets themselves are made of marzipan, but I could be wrong.

Look at the detail! Especially in Fozzy's fur and Sam Eagle's feathers, it's amazing. I'm also glad they decided to include Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Can you tell I was a huge muppet fan growing up?

If I ever get married (and that's a big if), I want a cake like this, not some dolled up 4 story bore with a plastic bride and groom on the top. If a wedding planner ever showed me something like that I'd karate kick it right off the table. Mark my words, my wedding cake will be either Ghostbusters or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle themed.

That's right, ladies. Get in line.

Burgers, Buddies, & Football Injuries

2008-09-08T05:21:00.000-07:00

Good morning. This weekend I took a trek to Winthrop to visit an old friend of mine and watch the Patriots game. I was not only surprised at how nice her new place was, but I was even more surprised to find that there was a town called Winthrop that I never knew existed. I forgot what it was like to cook in a kitchen that had counter space. We went to the local grocery store to pick up some BBQ supplies when I noticed a pineapple and had an epiphany... Hawaiian burgers!

I first discovered these beauties at the bar down the street and have been hooked ever since. They're great because they're a welcome change of pace after a summer full of regular burgers and hot dogs. Also, they're wicked easy. All you need are burgers, a pineapple, and some Teriyaki sauce.

You can core the pineapple with a pineapple corer if you have one, which I didn't, so I just used a knife. Next, I sliced the pineapple into semi-thin slices for the burgers. I also took the top of the pineapple and wore it as a hat to the amusement of no one, but myself.

While I was grilling the burgers and eating Doritos, Tina from Carrots N Cake, cut up some vegetables and opened up some hummus for the girls. I was content with my Doritos. Though, I think I may have eaten a red pepper by mistake.

Here are the burgers, hot off the grill. Grill the burgers and the pineapple separately. You can cook the burgers to your liking and grill the pineapple until its warm to the touch.

About 30 minutes, a 1/2 bag a Doritos, and a Tom Brady season threatening knee injury later, we were ready to eat. After you assemble the burgers, drizzle a little Teriyaki sauce on top of the pineapple and you're done! I say a little, because you're probably used to drowning your burgers in condiments. Teriyaki sauce has a bit more kick to it than ketchup, so take it easy.

These burgers are definitely different and a crowd pleaser as far as I'm concerned. I have to admit at first, I wasn't sure how excited I was about mixing pineapple and hamburger, but now it's all I want to do. Good thing grilling season is all but over.

The Beer Can Chicken Experience

2008-09-05T05:16:00.000-07:00

Last night, I decided to make beer can chicken for the first time. Don't ask me how I did it, but somehow it was a complete success! I had a few issues here and there, but the end result was an incredibly moist and deliciously spiced chicken. This will definitely become a new BBQ standard of mine, and everyone in attendance last night agreed that it was well worth the time and effort.

Here are the birds, gizzards removed, rinsed, and seasoned generously with a spicy chicken rub. I decided to take the easy route and just use a store bought rub. I'm a busy man, I don't have time to mix ingredients!

I did, however, have the time to place the chickens in hilarious poses for the camera. With the cans... in place, the birds are now ready for the grill!

Unfortunately, the grill was too small and I could not put the cover on properly. I had to rest the cover on top of the birds, leaving a small amount of space between the cover and the grill. I was afraid that this would result in the birds cooking unevenly, but luckily it didn't make a difference. In all the blogs I've read about beer can chicken, most people complained that they had a hard time balancing the chickens on the grill. I didn't have any problem at all, but I suppose it all depends on the size of the birds and how good you are with your hands. That's right.

Here's me, more posing for the camera and not really checking the chicken.

Here is the end result. Don't ask me why, but I love this picture. Once I took the chicken off the grill and into the house, the smell was amazing! I have never cooked a full chicken before, especially on a grill, and it was definitely a fun time. Just make sure you measure the grill before you buy your chickens. Or don't, because apparently it doesn't really matter.

Caffeine or Die

2008-09-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

In an effort to calculate my daily caffeine intake, I stumbled upon this little website: EnergyFiend.com. At Energy Fiend, not only can you find the amounts of caffeine in a wide variety of food and drinks, but they also have a tool that shows you how much of that particular food or drink it would take to kill you. Sadly, my morning coffee is not widely recognized enough to appear on the list, but I was still able to calculate my daily caffeine intake.

For those of you that are wondering, the average person should consume about 200 - 300 milligrams of caffeine a day. After crunching a few numbers I came to the conclusion that I consume roughly 1000 milligrams a day. That's almost 5 times the 'healthy' dose. Whoops.

The website also contains some fun caffeine related articles and news. I suggest checking it out.

A Day at the Beach (Literally)

2008-09-02T05:18:00.000-07:00

In a desperate attempt to make the most of my summer, I decided to head to up to Ipswich for Labor Day. I haven't made it to the beach nearly enough this summer, so I felt obligated to at least make one appearance this year. The beach was crowded; I got one heck of a sunburn, and hit a little girl with a renegade volley ball (accidently of course).

On the way home we stopped by the Ipswich Clambake, for a little seafood. One of my favorite parts about beach trips is the restaurants. I love seafood and beach days are one of the few times I get exposed to clams, lobster, and other deep fried foods. After baking myself in the sun all day, all I could think about was a lobster roll for dinner. We wanted to eat at Ipswich's famous Clam Box, but sadly the line was out the door and around the block and we were all starving and couldn't stand to wait. We took a quick drive further down the road and settled on the Ipswich Clambake, which was considerably less crowded.

Two of the people in my party were from Iowa, which is not known for its fresh seafood. I was told the closest thing they ever get to fish over there are fish sticks. Needless to say, they were shocked at the variety of choices they were offered. They finally settled on fish and chips, which was the closest thing to fish sticks on the menu. Good work guys...

I ordered a lobster roll and I was not disappointed. It looked a little small for the price, until I bit into it and realized I couldn't even finish the whole thing. It was packed with big chunks of lobster meat and very little mayonnaise, which is always good. What's even better was the fact that I remembered my camera! I’ve been to no less than 20 restaurants since starting this blog and I have successfully forgotten my camera every single time, but not this time!

The summer is now pretty much a thing of the past. In Ipswich, the leaves were already starting to change, which was as beautiful as it was depressing. Now I can look forward to 15 minutes of fall and 8 months of winter. All in all, I'm very glad that I was able to squeeze one last summer day out of 2008.

And that’s what I did on my summer vacation.

Food or Art?

2008-08-29T06:25:00.001-07:00

As some of you may or may not know, I have a BA in fine arts. I don't really use it much today, but I still like to think I have an eye for art. Whether it be photography, painting, or... food.

Over at SeriousEats, they have a photo gallery that features some amazing images of food. Who would think to take a a piece of cooked meat and turn it into art? Someone did, and it makes for a really compelling image.

I've always considered food to be an art form, which may be the reason I find it so interesting. Then again, maybe food interests me because it tastes good and if I don't eat it I'll die. Either way, I love looking through this photo gallery. If I get a better camera, maybe I'll even add to it someday.

Lemon Cake

Portabella Mushrooms

This one is my personal favorite.

Nothing Healthy to See Here: Part Deux

2008-08-28T05:12:00.000-07:00

As promised, today I am prepared to give you all a first hand review of the recipe that I found yesterday morning that sent me into frenzy: Chocolate Covered Bacon. Before I delve too deep into the review, I thought I would share a few very important life lessons that I learned whilst attempting this snack.

1. Never cook a sheet of bacon in the oven when you have two beagles with you in your kitchen. The fumes were so, that both my dog Reese and our house guest Wrigley went for each others throats! Bacon evokes a very strong emotion in most men and apparently that passion crosses over to other males of different species as well.

2. When separating a beagle brawl in your kitchen try not to forget about the bacon in the oven that started the whole debacle. With my concentration elsewhere, I lost track of how long the bacon had been in the oven, causing it to burn ever so slightly. This made the bacon a little more brittle than I would have liked.

3. When melting chocolate, you have roughly .2 seconds between optimal consistency and burnt. I had to start over, because I burned the chocolate to the point where it was unusable for this project.

This is a picture of when I SHOULD have taken the bacon out of the oven.

I took this photo when the chocolate was almost perfect. By the time the flash had faded, it was burnt.

Notice that that only 4 out of 7 pieces made it out alive. 2 broke during the dipping process...

...and the remaining piece went to a very patient Wrigley. That smile is not photoshopped.

Once completed, I passed the tray around the room to my roommate and human house guests. The consensus? Not bad... for a first try. Personally, I think it just tasted like salty chocolate. Next time, I need thicker cut bacon and I need to be more attentive in the kitchen. Perhaps with one less, or better yet, no dogs in the kitchen helping me.

Move Along! Nothing Healthy to See Here

2008-08-27T05:50:00.001-07:00

There are many defining moments in a young man's life. His first car, his first shave, his first kiss; but the following may be one of the single greatest discoveries I have made in the past 24 years of my life. Ladies and gentleman, I give you…

(Pause for dramatic effect)

Chocolate Covered Bacon!

I first heard of this marvel at SeriousEats.com, and immediately began frantically searching the internet for the recipe. One successful Google search later, I was staring at the ingredients list that will most likely change the way I look at food for the rest of my natural life. I realize I generally blog about healthy food, but who are we kidding? I’m still a guy.

I found this recipe at YumSugar.com. I have already informed my roommates not to make any plans tonight. Right after work I'm hitting the super market, rushing home, and making some good old fashioned chocolate covered bacon. On a scale of 1 to 10 their level of excitement was somewhere around a 16. Tomorrow, I will have pictures and multiple reviews posted about this phenomenon. For now however, here is the recipe:

Ingredients

6-8 slices thick cut, best quality bacon
12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
4 ounces white chocolate, melted, optional for garnish

Directions

- Preheat the oven to 375°F.
- Place the bacon on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- Bake in the oven, until bacon is cooked to your liking.
- Let bacon cool on the paper for 5 minutes, than transfer to a plate lined with paper towels.
- Meanwhile set up a double boiler. Heat a large saucepan filled with water over high heat until boiling. Reduce heat to a simmer.
- Set a heat proof bowl over the simmering water. Add the chocolate chips and stir with a fork until smooth and completely melted.
- Cover another baking sheet with parchment paper.
- Using tongs, carefully dip the bacon into the melted chocolate turning to coat all sides in chocolate. Transfer to the clean sheet of waiting parchment paper. Repeat.
- Drizzle with the white chocolate, if desired.
- Refrigerate until chocolate is hardened.
- Eat and try to keep your brain from exploding

One Food Guy

2008-08-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

I read a lot of food and health related blogs for inspiration, recipes, and restaurant reviews. Some blogs are interesting, some are funny, and some give you some really great ideas. One Food Guy is one of those blogs. Yesterdays post entitled: Spicy Beer Can Chicken, has got me so amped up to grill that I already have one planned for next week. His photos and in depth explanation of the process made me want to quit my job and start grilling at 8:30 this morning.

I’ll repost the recipe just for fun, but I strongly recommend that you check out his blog at http://onefoodguy.blogspot.com/. The images are fantastic and the whole blog is full of great recipes and reviews. He’s also a New England sports fan, so what’s not to like?

Here’s the recipe courtesy of his blog.

Spice Rub for 2 Beer Can Chickens

- 1/2 cup Hungarian hot paprika
- 4 tablespoons light brown sugar
- 2 teaspoons kosher salt
- 2 teaspoons freshly cracked black pepper
- 1 heaping teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 1 heaping teaspoon ancho chile powder
- 2 teaspoons chili powder
- 2 teaspoons onion powder
- 2 teaspoons garlic salt
- 2 whole chickens
- 2 ½ cans of beer

Combine the above ingredients to create the spice rub. Cover the chickens completely with said rub. Then take to cans of your favorite beer that are each half full. Then politely cram the beer cans in the chicken’s nether regions. Stand the chickens upright on a gas or charcoal grill (preferably charcoal) and cook for about 1 ½ hours at 350 degrees. Make sure to use a foil pan to cook the bird with in direct heat, or there bottoms will burn! Turning them every 20 minutes or so. I haven't had a chance to try this recipe out yet for myslef. But rest assured, once I do you're going to hear about it.

Fast Times at Hamburger High

2008-08-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that fast food is terrible for you. It's not really much of a secret, a diet rich in hamburgers and cheeseburgers isn't going to help you keep off the pounds. It's also no secret that it's pretty tough to pass up something that tastes great, is ready quickly, and usually costs less than 5 bucks. Even in the world of fast food, just because you're eating garbage, doesn't mean you have to eat the worst of the garbage. Below are some of the absolute worst burgers you can make the mistake of picking up at the drive through.

But, before you look at those numbers, I think it would be helpful to point out what an average male should consume in a normal day.

- 2,100 calories
- 250 - 270 g carbohydrates

- 65 g protein

- 60 g or less of fat

So how do these burgers match up?

Not so good, I guess. The Hardee's Monster is great, as long as it's the only thing you eat in a 24 hour period. Even then, I'd still advise against it. The fat content is in the triple digits! I didn't think that was even possible! These numbers are scary and lets face it, you never feel good after eating any of these sandwiches. After I eat a whopper, I feel like its sitting in my lungs for the next 40 minutes. Do yourself, and your pants a favor, and steer clear of these abominations of nature.

I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't offer you a at least a few "healthier" alternatives to the artery cloggers above. Below are some of the better choices for fast food burgers if you find yourslef stranded and left with no other options.

I'm not going to lie to you, I love Mcdonalds plain hamburgers. If you eat just one (Which is difficult), then it's not that bad for you. It's all about moderation, just like anything else. Hamburgers aren't healthy, it's as easy as that. If you're really Jonesin' for one, like I am more often than not, just keep a few of these facts in mind.

Restaurant Week in Boston

2008-08-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

It’s the tail end of restaurant week here in Boston. For those of you that don’t know, restaurant week is when many of the more upscale restaurants in the city feature special menus that include 3 course meals at a discounted price. I blew it last year and didn’t take advantage of this event. This year I made sure not to make the same mistake.

I went to Bouchee, a great French restaurant located on Newbury St. I had never had French food before, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to try something new. I’m all about trying different types of food, but for some reason French food never struck me as anything too exciting.

I started with Mussels, which are generally my favorite appetizer, so this seemed like a safe bet. I was not disappointed! The mussels were slightly sweet and bigger than the ones I am used to. They were drowning in a garlic butter sauce, which was incredible. I’m pretty sure I put down about 25 in less than a minute. I then proceeded to soak up the remainder of the sauce with my bread. Which was every bit as good as it sounds.

Next, I had a dish whose name I butchered the pronunciation of upon ordering. It was pretty much just a fancier version of shrimp scampi. The difference was, the shrimp were bigger than average, there were more of them, and there was less pasta. The French have the right idea when it comes to portions. The shrimp were also soaked in a garlic white wine sauce, which is always a good move. I can’t say enough good things about the food, but the service was another story.

In general the service was pretty slow, but I am also aware that this is kind of the French style. I’m pretty sure forgetting drink and dessert orders however, is not. I’m not really that picky when it comes to food servers. I understand that sometimes it’s busy and people have bad days. So I’m not gonna tear into the poor guy. Besides, I enjoyed myself either way and his performance in no way took away from my good time.

All in all, I thought Bouchee was a great place. It wasn’t even that terribly expensive. I would recommend it to anyone. My first experience with French food was definitely a positive one. I was a little worried for some reason, but everything worked out nicely in the end.

Smart Smoothie Recipes

2008-08-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

Smoothies and whey protein shakes are a great way to stay in shape and help boost your energy levels. They’re easy to make at home and they taste great! I have gone on a few kicks where I drink one or two a day, and I’ve noticed that they definitely help promote weight loss and make you feel better in general. What I can’t stress enough however, is how great they taste! Here are a few easy smoothie recipes and what they do for your body.

Hangover Helper:

-1 cup orange juice
-1 Tbsp lime juice
-1/2 cup low-fat vanilla yogurt
-1/2 cup Canada Dry ginger ale (or any other ginger ale that contains real ginger)

This smoothie is great for helping cure a hangover. The vitamin C will help repair cell damage and the sugar from the fruit juice will speed up the metabolism of the booze that’s still in your system. Lastly, the ginger ale will help with your upset stomach.

Monkey Wrench:

-2 Tbsp peanut butter
-1 banana
-1/3 cup whey protein
-1/2 cup fat-free chocolate frozen yogurt
-1 cup fat-free milk

This smoothie packs a powerful punch of protein from both the peanut butter and the whey. It is also my personal favorite.

Mood Maker:

-1/2 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
-1/2 cup fresh or frozen mango
-1 cup pineapple OJ
-Hand full of crushed flax seed
-1 cup ice

This smoothie is packed with carbs to boost your serotonin and the flax seed will give you a dose of mood boosting Omega 3 fatty acids.

The 12 Best Foods on Earth

2008-08-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

Listen up America! I'm about to throw some very valuable knowledge your way, so pay attention. When it comes to eating healthy and losing weight, it’s important to have a few guidelines to live by. There are many simple strategies to help you lose more weight including drinking more water, eating smaller, more frequent meals, exercising regularly, and avoiding foods that lead to weight gain. It’s not terribly hard to figure out which foods are bad for you, but what foods should you be eating? Many of the foods I’m about to discuss have countless health benefits, taste great, and you probably have at least half of them in your refrigerator already.

So what are these wonderful foods?

1) Almonds and Other Nuts.
Almonds help build muscle and the protein they pack helps reduce your cravings.

2) Beans and Legumes.
Beans build muscle, help burn fat, and help aid digestion.

3) Spinach and Green Vegetables.
Green vegetables are packed with vitamins and nutrients for overall health.

4) Dairy Products.
Low fat and fat free dairy items help build strong bones and help burn fat.

5) Instant Oatmeal (unsweetened).
Oatmeal helps maintain blood sugar levels, boosts your energy level, and even your sex drive.

6) Eggs.
Eggs build muscle and help burn fat.

7) Turkey and Lean Meats.
Lean meats build muscle and help improve your immune system.

8) Peanut Butter.
Peanut butter builds muscle and burns fat.

9) Olive Oil.
Olive oil lowers cholesterol and boosts your immune system.

10) Whole Grain Breads.
Whole grain breads and cereals help prevent your body from storing fat.

11) Extra Protein (Whey).
Whey protein, which you can add to smoothies, helps build muscle and burn fat.

12) Raspberries and Other Berries.
Berries help protect your heart, improve your eyesight, memory, and help curb cravings.

The key is to try and incorperate as many of these foods as you can into every meal. It would obviously be impossible to include all 12 into each meal. The more you eat, however, the better the meal. Making a protein smoothie is a great way to accomplish this feat, by cramming as many ingredients as you can into a blender, then hoping for the best.

If you want to learn more about this list, I strongly recommend picking up the Abs Diet. It’s a great resource for all things food, exercise, and is where I learned most of the rules of nutrition that I apply today, including this list.

Dunkin Donuts Egg White Flatbread Sandwich

2008-08-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

People, who know me, know that I am predominately a Starbucks guy. I feel their coffee and service is far superior to the competition (Dunkin Donuts in particular). However, when Dunkin Donuts rolled out their new “Smart” menu; I decided it was worth a second glance.
The menu contains mainly old favorites including iced coffee, reduced fat muffins, and some of the less offensive breakfast sandwiches. The newest and most intriguing addition however, is the egg white flatbread sandwich. This baby comes in two varieties (which I discovered only after a painfully confusing conversation with a DD’s employee): Vegetarian and turkey sausage. If I’m crazy enough to eat DD’s for breakfast, then it’s because I am in desperate need of protein. With that in mind, I went with the turkey sausage.

I’ll be honest with you. It’s pretty tasty. The flatbread was toasted nicely and the egg white was stuffed with peppers, mushrooms, and turkey sausage, which gave the sandwich some nice spice. It was also much easier to eat and less messy than most other fast food breakfast sandwiches. As far as taste is concerned, this is a pretty good sandwich for a “healthy” option.

Taste is all well and good, but what about nutritional value?

At 280 calories per sandwich, we’re not off to a bad start, if you consider your alternatives. With 6 grams of fat, 2.5 saturated fat, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, and 19 grams of protein, this sandwich is about as healthy as you can hope for fast food. It does contain 800+ mgs of sodium, which is unfortunate, but to be expected of a sandwich that has been previously frozen.

All in all, I wouldn’t recommend you down one of these babies every morning, but if you find yourself in need of a quick breakfast on the go, this sandwich is far from the worst thing you could eat. I’ll admit I’ve already ordered it more than once. If nothing else, it feels like you’re eating healthy, even if most of that is just in your head.

Beef and Broccoli

2008-08-18T05:09:00.000-07:00

Beef and broccoli is one of the more popular items on any Chinese food menu. If you look at the name itself it seems like a fairly healthy choice, right? There are only two ingredients: beef and broccoli. What most people don’t factor in is the brown sauce in which those two ingredients are drowning. That sauce tops out at roughly 500 mgs of sodium per serving, and that’s if you only eat one serving, which almost no one does. Here is a simple recipe you can make at home that takes some of the hurt out of this salty dog.

What you’ll need:

- 1 teaspoons canola oil
- ½ pound lean boneless top round
- ½ can ginger ale
- 2 cups thawed frozen broccoli
- 2 tablespoons low sodium soy sauce
- 3 tablespoons slivered almonds

Just heat the oil in large skillet or wok. Sauté the beef, then stir in the ginger ale, almonds, and broccoli. Next, Stir-fry the ingredients for about 5 minutes. Lastly, mix in the soy sauce and continue stir-frying until it begins bubbling.

I recommend serving this meal with brown rice.

How to Cure a Hangover

2008-08-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of my current condition, I thought I’d take a few minutes to discuss the finer points of curing a hangover. We all know what causes a hangover, but what exactly is a hangover? One simple word: Revenge. A hangover is your body’s way of punishing you for poisoning yourself. You wouldn’t pour sulfuric acid in your gas tank and expect your car to win the Indy 500, and your body is no different. Just replace racing with basic motor skills and the ability to effectively leave your bed.

It’s far too late for fun analogies though, isn’t it? You’ve already made your mistakes; lucky for you, you don’t remember most of them. Let’s pretend hypothetically, that you’re suffering from a hangover, be it mild or of the Defreest caliber. How to do you shake the headache, nausea, and… the shakes?

Here are a few tips that may help you out if you find yourself in a situation that I find myself in far too often.

Skip the coffee. While coffee may seem like a great way to shock your brain back into coherence after a night of drinking, in all actuality, all it does is dehydrate you further. This is one of the main reasons you feel so terrible in the first place. The caffeine may help your head and your energy level, but it’s not doing you any favors in the long run.

What should you drink?

The short answer is water. However, when you’re dehydrated water isn’t always the best choice. Even though I usually condemn sugary drinks, they are actually your friend in this case. Sugary drinks like fruit juices, energy drinks, and the like will help hydrate you faster, which should help curb your headache.

Energy drinks like Gatorade are also a good way to get your brain back into working order. I’m not going to get into the science of it, because my brain hurts just thinking about it, but let’s just say it has something to do with electrolytes. Whatever those are.

This one is a no brainer, but I had to mention it: Aspirin. Regardless of why your head hurts, aspirin and other pain killers will help you with your hangover. However, if you are on an empty stomach, they may make you nauseas, if you are not already. So eat something, if you’re going to take this route.

Finally, this isn’t the best choice but it has been proven to work. If you’re suffering from the effects of alcohol the cure might be… wait for it: More alcohol! Although, all this is going to do is postpone the inevitable, drinking more will help you shake your hangover. A Bloody Mary or a Screwdriver will make you feel better at the moment, but just know that you’re going to have to deal with your hangover at some point. While I am never one to discourage the consumption of alcohol, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

We can dance around this fact all day, but we all know that the best cure for a hangover is simply not drinking in the first place. But where’s the fun in that? Who doesn’t love going out, having a few drinks, meeting new people, creating new memories, and promptly forgetting them? We all need a fun night of drinking with our friends every once in awhile to help us out when we’re feeling down. After all, nothing chases the blues away like a depressant.

What are some of your favorite hangover cures?

Thai Shrimp Pizza

2008-08-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

I love cooking. There I said it. The problem is, I’m a 24-years-old and I live in the city. Which means my kitchen is roughly the size of a closet and I share it with 3 other people and a dog. Even if I feel like cooking after I get home from work, I don’t always have the space to do it, and if I do I know I have to make it quick.

While I make it sound like I physically don’t have the time and space to cook, the reality of the situation is that I’m usually too tired, busy, or the kitchen is too much of a mess for me to get anything done. I’ve gotten pretty creative over the years in terms of cooking a decent dinner with as little work as possible.

I’ve found that flatbread pizzas are a great way to have a quick meal that is easy, tastes good, and doesn’t add to the already impressive mountain of dishes that are ever present in my kitchen sink. Another great thing about flat bread pizzas is that as long as you have the flatbread, some kind of sauce, some kind of meat, and some vegetables, you can make a pizza!You can even mix it up and come up with some unique combinations that may surprise you.

Here is one of my personal favorites and what you’ll need to make it.

Thai Shrimp Flat Bread Pizza:

First off, you’ll need to stock up on some flat bread or pita bread. I like Joseph’s flax seed, oat bran, whole wheat pitas. Now, hear me out! I realize they sound awful already, but I assure you they’re quite awesome. They're soft, they taste good, and they crisp nicely in the oven. As a bonus they’re also a great source of omega 3 fatty acids & fiber. I use them for pizza, sandwiches, quesadillas, and I’ve even been known to make pita chips for hummus on occasion.

You’ll also need:

- Unfrozen large cooked shrimp (6-8, diced)
- Peanut Butter (2 tbsps)
- Soy Sauce (1 tbsp)
- Sliced Scallion (1 tbsp)
- Shredded Mozzarella Cheese (3 tbsps)

Mix the peanut butter and soy sauce together in a small bowl. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s kind of a pain to mix these two ingredients and it’s not going to look too appetizing, but trust me. Mix them until it looks like a slightly darker peanut butter.

Next, spread a generous amount on the pita just like you would tomato sauce on a regular pizza. Then add the diced shrimp, cheese, and scallions. Stick it in the oven at 375 degrees for about 5-6 minutes.

I couldn't find a real photo, but it should look something like this.

The next step is easy: eat the pizza. I recommend using your mouth, but I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. You can cut it into quarters, halves, or just eat it whole (they’re small enough to eat with your hands). You may notice at first that your brain is not quite sure how to process the new taste combination of peanut butter and soy sauce on its first attempt. Once it does however, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Unless of course you hate it, in which case you just wasted about 15 minutes of your life and you're still hungry. Live and learn.

After I posted this recipe an anonymous reader asked a very good question that I thought deserved a little attention. How would you make this recipe if you have nut allergies? Below is my answer.

If you have tree nut allergies, in general you should probably avoid anything with the word "Thai" in it, as peanuts and cashews are both staples of the nations cooking.

You could always try a few tbsp's of hummus. That would be every similar in texture and taste depending on the variety. I don't know a terrible amount about nut allergies, so I'm not sure if you have to avoid legumes all together.

Honey would also be an alternative, but it would severly alter the taste of the pizza. It would be very sweet as opposed to very salty. Which could actually be really interesting.

If you are certain that you are only allergic to peanuts, then almond butter would be a good (yet pricey) alternative.

Foods to Control your Mood

2008-08-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

We’ve all heard the expression, “You are what you eat”. Personally I hate clichés, so I avoid them like the plague. Get it? Anyway, you may not be what you eat, but what you eat can most certainly affect your mood. Researchers have shown that chemicals found in certain foods can have both positive and negative effects on your brain and mood.

The actual science of how these chemicals alter the composition of the brain is pretty intense, and if you haven’t noticed by now… I’m not a doctor. I’ll forgo the technical explanation and simply explain how you can apply some simple facts about common foods to help control your mood.

Feeling Stressed? Reach for some carbohydrates. Carbs have gotten a bad rap in the past few years, due mainly in part to one Dr. Atkins (made famous by the low carb, high fat diet that killed him). While you should do your best to avoid processed simple carbs like cakes, candy, and white breads; eating complex carbs like whole grain breads, pasta, and fruit can help improve your mood. Carbohydrates clear most amino acids from your blood leaving only Tryptophan. Once Tryptophan reaches the brain, it is converted to Serotonin which is a neurotransmitter that reduces pain and helps you relax. Need a healthy example? Next time you’re feeling stressed, make yourself a peanut butter and banana sandwich on whole wheat bread. The wheat bread and fruit will give you the carbs you need, and the mono and polyunsaturated fats in the peanut butter will also act as an anti-depressant!

Speaking of anti-depressants; caffeine is a great mood booster for people with mild depression. A cup of coffee or two a day has been proven to help boost your mood, but just don’t overdo it. Too much caffeine can have the reverse effect on some people. You should also avoid caffeinated energy drinks that are high in sugar. The crash you’ll receive later will negate any good the caffeine did in the first place. It’s also important to note that if you suffer from severe depression, you should probably put down the coffee and seek medical attention.

Want to remember everything I just told you? Have some eggs for breakfast! Choline, a nutrient found in foods like eggs and liver is later turned into Acetylcholine in the brain, which helps boost your memory and concentration. Low levels of Acetylcholine have actually been linked to Alzheimer's disease. Do you need any more reasons to start eating eggs again?

Did everyone get it that’s going to get it? Good. I promise my ramblings won’t always be this scientific. I’ve always found the power food has over the brain pretty interesting. We all struggle with things like mild depression and stress every so often, and it’s good to know that there are a few easy steps you can take to help fix these problems. Personally, I didn’t know eggs could boost your memory until I started researching for this article. Looks like we all learned something today.

It's Worse Than You Drink

2008-08-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

I believe that I’m like most Americans, in that I’m impatient and I always want the quickest fix possible. I want to win the lottery so I don’t have to work, date a girl without having to jump through hoops, and stay in good shape without having to watch what I consume. Unfortunately, you have a better chance of getting killed by bees on your way to work than achieving any of these goals.

In 2003, when I decided I didn’t want to be fat anymore, I obviously wanted to lose weight as quickly as I could. Lucky for me, there actually is a quick fix for jumpstarting your weight loss, and there’s a good chance that you didn’t know how easy it was. Watch what you drink!

People are always concerned about the fat content the number of calories in what they eat, but who really pays attention to what they drink? Each year, Americans pour thousands of empty calories down their throats and this is one of the many things in this country that is making you fat! Our brains are not wired to feel full after drinking. This is so that we don’t forget to eat, even if we’re consuming large amounts of water. Sadly, today most people don’t drink enough water. They have replaced water with soda, energy drinks, and liter upon liter of high fructose corn syrup.

We see the word “vitamin” or “smoothie” on a bottle and we instantly identify it as a health drink, when in most cases that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Did you know that Vitamin Water was good for you? Well you shouldn’t, because it’s not! One bottle contains more sugar than almost 2 cans of regular soda, and this sugar is what’s making you fat! This single piece of knowledge can quickly help you take control of your weight.

So what should you drink?

The simple answer is water and lots of it. Drinking water has numerous health benefits, no calories, and it falls from the sky! Our muscles are already 80% water, so you can pretty much drink as much as you want. Whenever I go on a health kick (like I am currently), I drink as much water as I can. If you’re anything like me, then you’ll instantly notice that you just feel… better.

For people that have grown up on soda and juice, it can be difficult to cut these drinks from your diet entirely. I certainly couldn’t go cold turkey. You have to take small steps to slowly ease into your new healthier lifestyle, just like anything else.

If you need to have a can of soda, make it diet. Instead of fruit juice, reach for a lightly sweetened iced tea (I personally avoid them all together). If you grew up in New England like me, then your morning coffee is most likely 75% cream, 20% sugar, & 5% coffee. Man up Girl Scout, and switch to unsweetened black coffee. Can’t stomach that? Try using a low calorie sweetener like Splenda instead of sugar (which tastes better anyway), and non fat milk instead of half & half.

You will be amazed at what reducing this kind of sugar intake will do for your body. Whenever someone asks me what the best way to lose weight is, I always start with this advice. If you keep pumping your body full of sugar, then you’re only hope for dropping weight will be when you lose your foot to Adult Onset Diabetes. The best part is, after you’ve been cutting these drinks from your diet for a while (I’ve been doing it for 5 years now), you don’t even crave them anymore! Your body doesn’t need that garbage and certainly won’t miss it once it’s gone. If you’re not constantly chasing sweet and sugary foods and drinks; you’ve taken a very dangerous player out of the game.